Friday, November 6, 2009

i was just so lost until your love found me .

I now confirm that today is the most fucked up day of my life.
OH, please. Do contribute your part in making the day fuck me more.
I beg you.

4.34 am.
Text Syafique. He called. We talked. Mamai-mamai jugak because still sleepy. After his credit finish, I went back to sleep.

6.00 am.
I woke up again. Picked outfit for the day. Satisfied. Skip-a-doodle-doo to the loo. Fuckk. Mother nature has come to worsen my day. "Roti kering" satuuuu.

7.00 am.
Still haven't leave home yet. So much for "Chacha you better wake up early tomorrow so we can leave early." Yeah right. "You're fat, fatty. Hideous face. Ugly." Morning "talk".

7.50 am.
Arrived at Titiwangsa. Texted Syafique. Needed him. Mother nature is killing me. But of course, the lover must be sound asleep. He slept quite late. Sleep tight loving sleepyhead. ;) So, cursing the tummy. Fuckk. AND I'm late. ;)

8.20 am.
Entered the hall. "Lain kali, pakai macam ni tak lepas, hari Jumaat lagi!" Fucck. Kuat lagi boleh tak? Why don't you just use the mic in front, you don't have to shout laaa. Made everyone stare at me. Sheeesh. Public figure lagi. I despise. I dress up nicely. Straight cut slack. Baju labuh tutup pinggul. Sweater zip-up penuh youuuu. Sanggul-ed my hair as well. Tummy kept screaming. OH fuck. Can't concentrate a bit. Yayy me ;)

10.00 am.
Left the hall. Mampus lah. Texted the lover some more. No response. Need him badly. ;( Called him. Banyak-banyak kali. When he finally answered, I wanna whisper "Sayang, please come here, I want you now. Cannot do this alone *sobs*" but he just woke up. I restrained myself from being too selfish than I already was. ;(

And the day turned into hell. He emo-ed himself. Kata ini kata itu. Saya touching lebih. Saya sakit perut. Saya sakit kepala. Saya sakit hati. Saya nak dia tapi dia marah-marah saya. Saya end up letak telefon sebab public dah tengok saya nangis macam siall. Ketuk nanti baru tau. Tak pernah nangis ke ha? Bodoh. Saya kesian kat diri sendiri. Boyfriend takda disisi di saat-saat getir.

And that's when the memoirs of Mr. Already Gone arises. I remembered when you used to comfort me when I fought with my then-boyfriend. I remembered how nice you were to me, how polite you talked to me, how much you respect me as a girl. I remembered that you too, apart from my Syafique, loved walking me to train. You were worried of my safety as well. *Sighs. I remembered. Heyy, are you still lingering around, watching over me? Be my angel? ;| 7 months dearest, since you left us all. We still miss you. Rest well buddy. Rest in peace.

And I STILL need you here Syafique. *Sobs.

ps : Little Jerry totally adds up to fugly annoy me today. Boo-hoo.

Love,
Heartbroken Ell.