Wednesday, May 26, 2010

'So what? He thinks I'm no good, accused me on everything I never think of doing, and never ever ever never ever apologizes? So what? As long as I love him, I don't give a damn and nothing else matters. Who gives a fuck? Bring it on.'

badly needing .

I badly need a break, from everything.

I want to just rest, hibernate, sleep and not think about anything especially right now. Seriously. Probably like, a coma would help. I know, none of the problems will go away but at least, it would give me a peace of mind. Everything is so messed up. I can't tell anyone, I can't do anything about it. I just have to face it. Alone. Everything just keeps making things harder to me. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

So, anyone wanna gimme a break? Rehab sounds good. Bye.

PS : Emotionally unavailable.

mercy .

I'm watching one episode from Mercy, and somehow this episode makes me really really sad. I'm sobbing to myself. :( There are three different stories, but only one touched the deepest of my heart. A couple was preparing to get married when the bride-to-be was hospitalized. She was so into the marriage that she still make arrangements for songs, wedding gown, suit for the wedding from her bed. It was sweet, showing how important the wedding is to her. Then, her doctor came for regular check-up and the groom-to-be said its time to get serious. She get back to bed, the doctor told them her conditions etc etc. Then, the doctor abruptly asked about her stomach. He checked on her, and pressed on the right side of her stomach. She made a ouch-that-hurts face and the doctor said they need to do some tests. So they did. And they found tumor in her ovary. Her nurse was really attached to her, she was with her all the time. She was her only patient. The lady lost hope. She didn't wanna get married. Everything was over. Her oxygen level was low, making it high risks for her operation. Her groom-to-be then just said 'Lets get married, right now.' So they did, in that very hospital. They had cakes, everything was perfect. The husband stayed up with her all night, during their first night of newlyweds, probably the last. The just hugged, and stayed until her nurse came and told them 'It is time.' She had to take off her ring, the husband had to watch the nurse prepare her. :( Its sooooo sad seeing them like that I cried. OHHH, boohoo.

And  I have no idea what happen next, cause the episode ended.

PS : Sensitive.

Monday, May 24, 2010

oh fuck. what else? :)

Fuck is perhaps one of the most interesting and exciting words in the English language. Fuck is the one magical word which just by its sound can describe pleasure, pain, hate, and love. Fuck comes from the German word, "frikon".

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.
* A verb ; both transitive (he fucked her) and intransitive (she was fucked by him).
* An active verb (he really gives a fuck
* A passive verb (she really doesn't give a fuck)
* An adverb (she is fucking interested in him)
* A noun (she is a fine fuck)
* An adjective (she is fucking beautiful).

As you can see there is a whole lot of real versatility with "fuck". It pops up everywhere. Besides its sexual connotation, this lovely word can be used to describe many situations :

* Greetings - How the fuck are you?
* Fraud - I got fucked by that crook.
* Dismay - Oh, fuck it!
* Trouble - I'm fucked now!
* Confusion - What the fuck?!
* Aggression - Fuck you!
* Disgust - Fuck me.
* Despair - Fucked again!
* Philosophy - Who gives a fuck?
* Incompetence - He's a real fuck-off.
* Displeasure - What the fuck is going on here?
* Numerology - Sixty-fuckin'-nine.
* Lost - Where the fuck are we?
* Disbelief - Un-fuckin-believable.
* Retaliation - Up your fucking ass!
* Rebellion - Fuck it!
* Satisfaction - Fuck me again!

Also as :

* Descriptive anatomy - He's a fuckin' asshole!
* To tell time - It's six-fucking-thirty.
* Prediction - Well, I'll be fucked!
* A political statement - Fuck Washington.
* Incestuous  - Motherfucker.
* A put down - Fuck off, buster!
* All encompassing - Fuck 'em all!
* Governmental affair - Fuck the IRS.
* A poker hand - A royal fuck.
* To start a relationship - Let's fuck now!
* As an acceptance - Fuckin' eh!
* Enjoyment - Fuckin' wow!
* A closing - Fuckingly yours.
* Maternal - Motherfucker.
* Political - Fuck Clinton!

The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the many creative uses of the word. How can anyone be offended when you say "FUCK"? Use fuck in your daily speech proudly. Fuck adds prestige to any conversextion. Put this colorful four letter word to work for you. Today tell someone you know "fuck you" ... or "Let's fuck!"

This is a disclaimer. Please don't e-mail me and tell me that Fuck is not a German word. I fucking already know that. This is a joke, it is something to be laughed and enjoyed, I hope. By the way, I also know that the first part is not really correct either. If you want to bitch about this post, fuck you and go to alt.bitch.about.anything and complain.

HAHA. Very funny. :)

Sunday, May 23, 2010

you corrupt me, and us. goodbye you.

So, they fought, again. I'm not sure how it resolved though. It lasted few days, made me and my siblings moaned of boredom. The same things, the same issues. We're not the savers type. We sat and listen and talk to each other. At least that's the best we could do. Stick with each other.

I can't story-tell everything to my boyfriend. I mean, he's so busy nowadays. He has got a lot on his mind. His studies, his super duper best-of-the-best number one BFF and so much more. I'm pretty sure I am the last one on his priority list but that's much better than to not be on the list at all, right? I mean, he is now taking a short semester course. Tough paper. Quiz on Monday. His BFF is gonna fly away soon. I think I probably should give them some quality time right? Berjejak kasih~ She's so important to him that he would do literally everything for her. So, who's the priority now? Me, or her? Yeah, I should stop, its his BFF for god sake. He could die without her, like I would without him.

I remembered my boyfriend told me that she would be flying away around my birthday. One thoughtful question though, who would he picked to be with that day? Mind you, my birthday would mark the eleventh month of our relationship. She's his super duper best-of-the-best number one BFF and I am his girlfriend. So, who would he pick? I'll get back to you when the time comes. Just hold on to your seat belts people!

Oh crap. What ever in the world am I rambling about? >.< I really wanna talk out loud with someone. Does anyone wants to fill in the application to be 'the faithful listener' to 'the good listener'? But then, who is a listener to talk? Listeners should listen, not ramble. Listeners should listen, nod or shake their head appropriately, give plentiful opinions. Listeners don't talk, they listen.

Its mind-boggling, thinking no one could ever be a better listener for the listener itself. (I know, it doesn't make sense that way. Who cares?)

Jeez. I better stop all these nonsense. Like really stop. Now.


PS : Inside, I'm glad you won't be around soon. I'm starting to dislike how your presence is starting to corrupt my life, just like your little friends. Adios, chica.

Friday, May 21, 2010

you're gonna make it through this .

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
I'm not sure. I'll get back when I actually ride one.

3. When’s the last time you’ve been sledding?

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Well usually I’d prefer sleeping alone but sometimes I like sleeping with Syafique :).

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
I'm in between.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
I don’t think so.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Who knows? I don't even know about the case until I watched the Kardashians.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Definitely Angelina Jolie.

9. Do you stay friends with your ex’s?

10. Do you know how to play poker?
No, I don't.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

12. What’s your favorite commercial?
I can't quite think of one.

13. What are you allergic to?
Bitches. LOL.

14. If you’re driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?
I don’t drive but if I did then no.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
I believe everybody does.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
I don’t watch whatever sport that is. Heee.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Sadly, no.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Not too often unless it was really weird or unbelievable.

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?

21. What’s the one thing on your mind now?
Syafique. 'Nuff said.

22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is?

23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Only with the proper adults. I don't usually do seat belt with Syafique, it would be hard to reach and hug him.

24. What cell service do you use?

25. Do you like Sushi?

26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?

27. What do you wear to bed?
Pajamas. :) Sometimes shorts and singlets.

28. Been caught stealing?
I’ve stolen Syafique's heart. Guilty? Arrest me.

29. What shoe size do you have?

30. Do you truly hate anyone?
I hate bitches. They give me rashes. :)

31. Classic Rock or Rap?

32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Vanessa Hudgens! LOL.

33. Favorite Song?
I've been in love with That's When I Love You for 10 months now, since Syafique gave it to me. :)

34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
I have.

35. What food do you find disgusting?
I'm not sure.

36. Do you sing in the shower?

37. Did you ever play, “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”?
Ha! *Wink wink.

38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
I believe so. Naaaaah.

39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
I don’t think so. I can barely stand up for myself. Blimey.

40. Have you ever been punched in the face?

Thursday, May 20, 2010

of all those wishes , you are the most precious .

*Jump of joy! Yayy! He called. He called. Boyfriend called! :D (Yeah, I'm a fucking happy retard right now!)

Boyfriend called. I know, I've said that three times before, but he finally called. Gosh, I miss his voice. :( He's away, you see. AND I've been missing him all these days, because he's busy studying and we have little time to talk a lot like we use to. It is kind of weird that he's quite far, because I used to see him everyday, and I'm not seeing him everyday now. *Sigh. What am I rambling? >.<

"Awak tau tak saya rindu awak?"

That sort of put a grin on my face. Boyfriend, I miss you more! You're Heart Taker Story is complete. (Click the link to check out OK!)

Ok, Ok. Moving on. Since the Boyfriend is far, and I can't really talk, I've been talking to myself like a crazy brat. Yeahh, I have all the conversations up in my head. There are so many things that I wanna share, talk about. Some things I want people to take note of. Like my presence for instance. I went to the field at the corner of my house and screamed "I am HERE! I exist! Look at me, can't anyone see me? I am not invincible!" HAHA, ok, I made that up. >.< I imagined it in my head. LOL. Seriously, I think my head just have everything. I wish I can just live in it, it is so much fun. Everyone just listens to everyone, no one is left out, no one is hurt.

Hmmmm. Oh, and what's with the Bieber Fever? Yucks! :D

Lefty Baby.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Han says ; babe, aku suka kawan dgn kau sebab kau seorang pendengar yang baik!

Hish. Touching sorang-sorang kat rumah when she said that. Geeeez. :')

Monday, May 17, 2010

and i waited with hope that the phone will break the silence.

I just can't believe it. My boyfriend is already there.Oh, boohoo. He's in UiTM Melaka, for intersession course. One whole month, away from him. To make things worse, he recently lost his phone, so he's using a non-built-in camera phone. No everyday-i-miss-you-pictures updates from him too! Lets add more to the heart-breaking-bucket shall we? He did not even bring his BigBoy (broadband's nickname LOL) for some 'reasons' only I know, so no Skype sessions for us, the whole month. We used to Skype on weekend nights, and that's like when we can't see each other for two days tops. Geez. I hope he's alright. And studies really really really well. His classes starts tomorrow, 3 hours a day if I'm not mistaken. I miss him already. I'm just use to him being close, as close as Seri Kembangan could possibly offer but that's pretty close to me. Oh well. Even if I joined the short course semester, I won't be getting anywhere around him. Its opened only for upper semester kids. (Ha, did I just say kids??) Even so, I'm staying at home, right where he want me. He made Johnny look out for me, and I'm grateful I have Johnny for company. I'll be waiting for you. Its just a matter of time when you'll be home right darling? And and, we'll talk more then. I promise.

I'm building up Heart-Taker Story back because I deleted it few days ago. I'm building it back up 'coz my boyfriend loves it so much, he appreciates it. :) Your story darling, we'll come to life in a month. (More or less, since its gonna take me days finding back those pictures I stole online, hee hee.)

So, here I am, alone in my living room. *Sobs. I even cried to sleep when he called exactly at 1:30 am and said "Baby, they're here. We're leaving now. I'll update my whereabouts okay. I love you".

I miss you so much Boyfriend. We've never been this far more than two days, and you'll be there for at least one month. Gee, miss me too, will you? I love you.


Sunday, May 9, 2010

i love you ♥

Nine Months

I love you Syafique

Saturday, May 8, 2010

all tags, wrapped into one.

(Can't remember who passed it to me...)

Where is your boyfriend?
In my heart~ Eceh.

Name something you did yesterday?
Spent whole day cleaning up. -.-'

Last person you text messaged?

What color is your hair?
Darkish brown.

What was the last thing you cried over?
Kena marah :'( *Sobs!

What is something you really want right now, be honest?
Mr. Comel! :D Geez, its been a while. Miss him.

Is there anyone on your mind that shouldn't be?
Only Syafique.

Do you have a little sister?
Two little sisters who are very annoying but I love them to pieces.

Do you like to listen to the radio when you are in the car?
I surely do.

What are you listening to?
More Than Life Itself & That's When I Love You. For both of us. :)

Do you sleep with a fan on?
Of course I do.

Do you get good morning texts from anyone?
Sygg says "Morning Baby.." sometimes.

Where is your cell phone?
On my lap.

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?
Sure (!)

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
With Sygg perhaps? :)

Did you speak to your dad today?
No, I did not.

Will tomorrow be better than today?
Sure. :) Tomorrows are always better days.

Do you want to see somebody right now?

Your current relationship status?
Happily taken.

Do you like it when you get kissed on the forehead?
Sweet :) I do, I do.

Are you waiting for something?
Waiting for his text. I'm nervous thinking about his final paper.

Do you think the last person you kissed cares for you?
Yes :) He loves me dearly.

Do you text message a lot?
Syafique as the texting partner.

When is the next time you'll kiss someone?
Tomorrow? LOL.

What was the last thing you drank?
Plain water.

What would your name be with the first three letters?

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
I wanna get married when I reached 25, god willing, and have kids before 30 with SYAFIQUE!! :D

Did you have a good day?
A plain, empty, Syafique-less day.

If you could move right now would you?

Are you happy with the way things are going right now?
Very happy.

Do you like being in pictures?
The more the better. :P

Where will you be in an hour?
Get the laundry.

Is your heart broken right now?
No, its flouring with loveeee. Geez. :P

Do you believe in love?
I do. Of course. Its the next best thing to friendship.

Do you think relationships are even worth it?
Depends. Some are worth it and some are worth all the regrets. But mine, oh geez. :)

Have you ever done anything outrageously dumb?
Ahah. I play dumb all the time.

Have you ever kissed anyone and never saw them again?

Are you someone who worries too often?
Definitely too much.

Have you ever been back-stabbed by a friend?
Who haven't?

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Sygg la,who else?

Spring or summer?
Summer. :))

Are you wearing make-up right now?

Confused about anything?
No. :D

Do you prefer to call or text someone?
Calling, so that I can hear his super duper voice.

Do you have a secret that you aren't telling anyone?
Everyone has a secret.

(Beloved Nina ♥)

Baju warna apa yang sedang anda pakai?
Hitam. LBD.

Last text message? With whom?
With Sayangg :) Good luck!

Last phone call? With whom?
Sayangg. Last night.

Last website?
Heart-taker Story. (Anak kesayangan. Kilk untuk lihat OK.)

10 orang sahabat terbaik anda :

1. Syafique Sygg
2. Azza
3. Nina Chan
4. Idora Mora
5. Eriene
6. Dfan Heartcore (Eh? :P)
7. Zack (as in Zaharahh)
8. Yayaw.
9. Elisa Aiza
10. Johnny

Pilih seorang dari sepuluh yang di atas. Siapakah orangnye?

Kenangan pahit yang pernah anda alami bersama rakan anda.
Takde kott.

Rakan karib anda bermula dari huruf ape?
N, as in Nur Azalina Suzianti.

5 perkara yang anda suke tentang rakan karib anda :

1. Kidal macam sayaa.
2. CheChe saya lebih kurang 8 haghi.
3. Suara on-the-phone dia macam saya juga.
4. Otak gila-gila.
5. Aaaah, eveghiting.

5 perkara yang anda tak boleh lupa tentang kawan karib anda?

1. Kepelatan 'R'. :P
2. Dia tinggi, tinggi bangat dari sayaa.
3. Oh, oh, semua benda best kitonghang buat sama-sama.
4. Ngindu masa dalam kelas dulu.
5. Eveghiting.

5 Perkara yang anda menyampah dengan rakan karib anda?

1. Exes dia yang tak menghargai diaa. Pfft.
2. Huh?
3. Huh?
4. Huh?
5. Takde nyampah pun.

Bila kali pertama jumpa rakan karib anda?
Form 4. 'Hi, me Aza.' :D

Adakah anda sayang rakan karib anda?

Pernah hug and kiss kawan karib anda?
Kalau ajak jadi lesbo pun takpe. HAHA.

Pernah tersepak kawan karib anda?
Hish, tak ingatt.

Pernah mengumpat kawan karib anda?
Mengumpat depan mata?

Kali terakhir anda ketawa dengan kawan karib anda?
Pukul 2 pagi.

Kali terakhir anda marah dengan rakan karib anda?
Hish, tak ingatt.

Anda mahu rakan karib anda jadi apa untuk anda?
My best friend. :)

Pesanan anda untuk rakan karib anda:
Good luck in your life Bebeh. I lebiu. :)

(Nina too!)

5 orang yang masih hidup yang korang tak boleh lupa.

1. Syafiq ; the forever boyfriend-soon-to-be-married-husband :D
2. Azza ; the best-friend-forever-slash-twin-sister-with-totally different-dna's-and-genes :P
3. Nina ; (the tagger) petsis, yang dah lama tak jumpa. Geez.
4. Zack ; the gossiper partner, back in Form 3? :) Nginduu.
5. Johnny ; not really alive, but my night companion.

5 barang yang korang sayang nk buang.

1. Johnny (!)
2. My handphone yang cikaiii ; got lots and lots of pictures with him.
3. My lappy yang lapukk ; got lots and lots of memories with Sygg.
4. My dresses. Heeee.
5. My hair.

3 benda yang diimpikan dan harap akan menjadi kenyataan satu hari nanti.

1. Be married and live a fantasy-slash-reality life with Sygg.
2. Aaah, an accountant. God-willing.
3. A successful, beautiful life.

Based on those questions.. Why??

'Cause, they are my life. :)


1. Besides your lips , where is the favorite spot to get KISSED?
My cheeks, my nose, my lips. ;D

2. How did you feel when you woke up this MORNING?
Bummed. ;(

3. Who was the last person you took a photo WITH?
Sayang. ;)

4. Would you consider yourself SPOILED?
Yes. Kinda. *BIG grin.

5. Will you ever donate BLOOD?
I'm little miss scaredy cat.

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite SEX?
I did!

7. Do you want someone to be DEAD?
Those beyotchs..

8. What does your last text message SAY?
Its a secret. ;D

9. What are you thinking about right NOW?
a) Syafique.
b) Syafique.
c) Syafique.

10. Do you want someone to be with you right NOW?
Syafique please? Please.

11. What was the time you went to bed last NIGHT?
I have no idea.

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing NOW?
Momma bought this.

13. Is someone on your mind right NOW?
Syafique always. ;))

14. Who was the last person who text YOU?

(Dfan Heartcore.)

Upload a picture of you in a position that you hated the most.

Four names that friends call you.
a) Lisa.
b) Chacha.
c) Ell.
d) Elisa.

Four most important dates in your life.
a) 9th July ; mine.
b) 9th August ; our .
c) 2nd May ; his.
d) 14th July ; our unofficial date.

Four things you have done in the last thirty minutes.
a) Log in Blogger-in-Draft.
b) Missing him.
c) Yawn.
d) Typed.

Four ways to be happy.
a) Spend time with Syafique.
b) Sleep.
c) Eat.
d) Spend time with Syafique.

Four people you miss from your past.
a) Me.
b) Me.
c) Me.
d) Me.

Four gifts you would like to receive.
a) A good book.
b) A warm smile.
c) A sweet gesture.
d) An appreciation.

Four of your favorite hobbies.
a)Missing Syafique.
b) Texting Syafique.
c) Calling Syafique.
d) Dreaming of Syafique.

Four places or country you want to visit.
a) Hawaii.
b) Bali, once moree.
c) Paris.
d) Egypt.

Four favorite drinks.
a) Sprite.
b) Nescafe.
c) Orange juice.
d) Hot choco.

Four things always found in your bag.
a) Handphone.
b) Money.
c) Make-up pouch.
d) Kunci rumah.

Four favorite colors.
a) Pink.
b) White.
c) Black.
d) Red.

Top four hangouts.
a) At home.
b) At home.
c) At home.
d) At home.
(Yeah, don't go out much -.-')

Top four you love so much.
a) Family.
b) Syafique Sygg.
c) Aza.
d) Johnny.

Top four 'things' that are special to you.
a) Johnny.
b) Memory card handphone.
c) Him.
d) My love for him. Eceh.


Friday, May 7, 2010

When you were looking through the windows of the soul , I was waiting to see the truth as it unfolds .


Hmmm. That's just one of the million things lacking from my life. Appreciation. Like, seriously. I am not asking for a big show or a bouquet of flowers to show your appreciation for what I have done. Like, really, none of that. I am not that materialistic. A simple 'Thank you' is more than enough, and I am not making this up. A sincere, honest, straight-from-the-heart 'Thanks' really would made my day much much brighter.


However, I don't get that much. People would see through and comment on what I lack of. I am fat, I am short, I am dark-skin, I don't have the perfect body, I am awkward, my hair is not in place and ooooh, the list just goes on and on and on. What about what I already have? What I already am? Can no one see that? Hmmmm. Guess not It is so darn easy for anyone to spot my mistakes, my lacks. Sometimes, its just too much to handle. So, I'd try to achieve and meet up with everyone's expectations. The problem is,  their expectations never seem to stop, at all. Then what? What if I spend all my life trying to please everyone so that they will finally accept me and not comment what I do not have? Even so, not everyone would be pleased.

*LONG sigh.

PS : Speaking from the heart.
PSS : Appreciate people, while you still have the chance.

You are it , my first love , I think the closest I’ve ever come . We aren’t perfect for each other , we are exact opposites , and we fought constantly . But you made me so insanely happy , and vice versa . I know I did , from your smile down to your demands for hugs every single day . Falling in love with you , it feels like I am drowning deep , but the water is warm so it almost feel luxurious , enjoyable , like moving through warm honey .

Thursday, May 6, 2010

walk-in closet.

Dearest, heart-throb.
Funny. I dreamed of another touch to create perfection to our future home together, god-willing. A walk-in closet, for you beloved princess here would be enormously perfect. :) Well, besides having a personal private library, of course. Tehee. Here's why. Your little princess, yours truly loves to dress-up, as you know very much Darling. I love dresses and more dresses and would not want my precious dresses to get wrinkled or ruined. I would not want my wedding gown to be ruined too! :P Tehee. Here's an idea. We could totally hide the walk-in closet behind a mirror (Woahh, imagination..) in our bedroom so no one would know our secret. :)

Please, please? Especially, since you agreed on reserving on room for our own private library. :) I love you.

Yours truly,

dresses to die for :D



How you choose to express yourself
It's all your own and I can tell
It comes naturally, it comes naturally

You follow what you feel inside
It's intuitive, you don't have to try
It comes naturally, mmmm it comes naturally

And it takes my breath away
What you do, so naturally

You are the thunder and I am the lightening
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it's exciting
When you know its meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby

Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby

You have a way of moving me
A force of nature, your energy
It comes naturally (You know it does)
It comes naturally
Mmmm yeah

And it takes my breath away (Everytime)
What you do, so naturally

You are the thunder and I am the lightening
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it's exciting
When you know its meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby

Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby

When we collide, sparks fly
When you look in my eyes, it takes my breath away

You are the thunder and I am the lightening
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it's exciting
When you know its meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby

Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby

Naturally [x5]
Bay bay baby

Naturally [x5]
Everything baby comes naturally

Singer : Selena Gomez & The Scene
Title : Naturally
Album : Kiss & Tell

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

random ramble from the heart.

That song just touched the bottom of my heart. Tears drool all over. I'm not sure why. The song, is just, miraculous? Hmmm. :') Just Stand Up. It dated around 2 years ago, I think, but really. I just can't stop replaying the song. Let's fight.

just stand up.

All :
Everything will be alright, yeah

Beyoncé :
The heart is stronger
Than you think
It's like it can go
Through anything
And even when you think
It can't it finds a way
To still push on

Carrie Underwood :
You want to run away
Ain't got the patience
For the pain
And if you
Don't believe it
Look into
Your heart
The beat goes on

Rihanna :
I'm tellin' you

Rihanna & Miley Cyrus :
Things get better
If you fall
Dust it off
Don't let up

Nicole Scherzinger :
Don't you know
You can go
Be your own miracle

Beyoncé :
You need to know

All :
If the mind
Keeps thinking
You've had enough
But the heart
Keeps telling you
Don't give up
Who are we to be
Wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all
Just stand up

Fergie :
It's like
We all have better days
Problems getting all up
In your face

Leona Lewis :
Just because
You go through it

Fergie :
Don't mean it got
To take control, no

Leona Lewis :
You ain't gotta find
No hiding place

Keyshia Cole :
Because the heart
Can beat the hate

Leona Lewis :
Don't wanna
Let your mind
Keep playin' you

Keyshia Cole :
And sayin' you
Can't go on

Rihanna :
I'm tellin' you

Rihanna & Miley Cyrus :
Things get better
Through whatever
If you fall
Dust if off
Don't let up

Natasha Bedingfield :
Don't you know you
Can go
Be your own

Carrie Underwood :
You need to know


Mary J. Blige :
You don't gotta be
A prisoner
In your mind

Ciara :
If you fall
Dust it off

Mary J. Blige :
You can live your life

Rihanna & Carrie Underwood :

Mary J. Blige :
Let your heart
Be your guide

Rihanna & Carrie Underwood :
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Mariah Carey :
And you will know
That you're good
If you trust in the good

Ashanti :
Will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark
If you follow your heart

Mary J. Blige :
And it will get better

Mariah Carey :
Through whatever

(Chorus) X2

Fergie :
You got it in you
Find it within
You got in now
Find it within now
You got in you
Find it within
You got in now
Find it within now
You got in you
Find it within
Find it within you
Find it within

All :
Through it all
Just stand up

Singer : Various Female Artists
Title : Just Stand Up

Monday, May 3, 2010

please, take a step back and breathe. (auto-publish)

"Ever since you've had your boyfriend, you forget you friends."

"What happened? We use to talk a lot."

"Cenggini la kau. Lepas ada balak kau, kau lupa aku."

"Sikit-sikit Syafiq, takyah peduli dia."

"Kenapa susah ha nak cakap dengan kau sekarang? Kau pergi mana?"

I've been thinking about this for quite a while and I think it is about time I'll say it out loud, especially when we're reaching up to 9 months of never-ending happiness. As you know, if you know me well, number 9 really is special so I rather not have any problems there and then.

Alright then, first and foremost, my boyfriend has nothing to do with this.

Syafiq never, I repeat never force me to stop having friends and focus on him. Never. Its just me. Yes, I was not in any relationships before and thus have plenty of time to be there for everyone that means the world to me. However, I am in a serious one here. Very serious. I am making him my first priority, because I feel that he deserves that for making me extremely happy with the way things are.

Mind you, I am not ditching my friends. Nope. I just give less attention to everything else, because I have a boyfriend now. Its okay to call me up sometimes, or send me sms but please respect my relationship and my decisions. I mean, don't say things that might 'corrupt' my relationship. This means a lot to me. REALLY.

Just cause things change, doesn't mean you are allowed to blame him for that. Seriously. He never makes me forget anyone. He encourages me to stand on my own and be with friends. Its just my choice to not do so. As I said before, things change, and I expect people would understand this transition. I need the support, like the support I would give to my friends when they change. It would mean everything to me

Please do. I am not pin-pointing anyone, not at all. This is just generally, regardless of friends near and far. I swear. So please, ease my mind, respect my relationship and respect my boyfriend. He means so much and it hurts me if anyone do anything that could make him sad.

I am begging, please take a step back and breathe.

Syafique's Ell.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

and handsome is now 21 years old.

There are things I’d like to say
to you my love on your special day.
­­­Syafique, you’re like a gift from up above,
you showed me how it is to feel real love.
I know many mountains we’ve had to climb
and sometimes forever has seemed like a very long time.
Yes, we’ve endured our share of pain,
but together we have so much to gain.
Bigger mountains may lie ahead,
but together there is no hill we cannot tread.
So Syafique, always remember my love for you,
and there is nothing together we cannot do.
Have a happy birthday you deserve the best
And I’ll take care of all the rest.


Saturday, May 1, 2010

my heart craves ;

Muhammad Norsyafiq ;
Everyone says my name the same, but the way you say it forces my cheeks to turn to pink. And to be honest, you sort of - kind of stole my heart.
Yes, yes. I crave to be with you, all day long, all night long and all my life. I miss your shining eyes, your beaming smile, your hearty laugh, oh gosh, I miss everything about you. Even when we went apart for a few hours, my heart cringe with you out of my sight. Geez. I'm just so crazily fond of you, only God knows how much. AND yes, I wanna be with you forever, straight from my heart. :) I love you.

Nur Azalina Suzianti
We’re the type of best friends who burst out laughing from last year’s inside jokes.
Gosh. I miss you so darn much. I mean, a lot. I haven't see you in months. The last time we met, my condition was oh-so-vulnerable and I barely gave my attention to anyone. Even you. *Groans. I miss you bff. I really do. I miss the times we used to have sleepovers at your place, prank-called people and gossip all night long. I can never keep a secret from you. :) I love you.

Nur Ammar Nina
Finding a relationship like ours is like nailing jello to a tree : impossible.
Geeez. You. My lucky star. I haven't seen your face for yeaaaars. When was the last time eh? It was back in 2005. My goodness. That's 4 almost 5 years away. I'm glad we kept our relationship strong, even with the distance. I miss you, little sister. I miss 'stealing' away your teddy bear and slept with it at night so it would remind me of you. I miss writing letters, talking heart-t0-heart with you. AND I miss your drawings. You used to make a lot of little cards for me and I believe there are still some in my possession. :) I love you.

Safinah ;
Even if we grow apart, and even if we don’t talk as much as we used to, just remember I’ll always be here for you.
Gorgeous. Gosh. We haven't meet yet. Sooner or later, we will. I'm sure. Though we haven' connect physically, we connect mutually just fine. I miss chatting with you, exchanging songs, sharing secrets, basically everything. I might seem like I disappeared, the truth is I'm not. I am always here, if you need to talk. Precious, you're always on my mind. :) I love you.

My heart craves ; THEM right now. :(

angry post.

Grrrr. Stupid phone-stealer. Pfft. Why are you so stupid? Got no phone on your own that make you took MY BOYFRIEND'S phone? Sheeesh. He promised he'd pay the price of the phone if you give it back. Around RM 300, I think. Kitorang SMS bebaik, kau buat cikai kan? TAK NAK DUIT KE BODO? Kesian boyfriend aku tau! Even if you sell that phone, it won't cost as much as he would give you dummy!! Don't you know how much that phone holds our precious memories?! We text-ed you nicely, instead, you keep using the phone for god-knows-what. We just want that phone memory! OK, him. But I want it too.

All the memories and pictures and videos and recordings and notes :(
Also, the camera makes me look like I'm in heaven and oh-so-pretty. *Sobs. Ratus-ratus gambar dalam phone diaaaa.

Stupid. Arsehole. Jerk.

Right now, my boyfriend is using Natt's number. Thanks for you concern Natt. :)