I'll love you, now and forever .

23rd March 2010, 2.oo pm.

I am sure everyone felt and shared the sorrow. We lost a dear friend, a dear colleague, a dear lecturer. She was too young. We all felt love for her, and we always will. The news came to me later in the evening, while on the way home, away from college. I can't believe it at first but I kept myself calm. Sad, I was. Yes. Memories of her flickered through my mind like movie scenes, all wrap up into one. I thought it was too quick. The next thing I know, we're talking about her, remembering her memories, in past tense. Personally, I had love her dearly, and adore her. She was young indeed, and very bright. She always had this glow and radiant from her. And she was always there for me. She touched the hearts of those who surrounded her. Including mine.

I remembered our first moment. Level 5, ECO 162. During the first class, we had to introduce ourselves and name one unique perspective of us. That was the first. Everything that came after, was as perfect as the first. Yeah, I barely understood the whole point of learning Microeconomics but I loved her way of lecturing. She had been a friend to the class. She had been the "bolt" in the meeting of me and Syafiq. I remembered one of her example on the topic of "Discrimination". :') That was the starter of me and Syafiq, all thanks to her. I have always love ECO 162 (for the wrong reason) and I failed my first attempt.

Moving up to my third semester, repeating the subject, I was to be lecture by the same lecturer. I've grown fond of her since the last semester that it made me felt great to be learning from her again. I sat up front her desk every class with my fellow friends, Chubee, Lynn and Dfan. Sometimes, in between breaks or when our fellow classmates were to slow drawing up curves, she would share stories when she was a student like us. And I will never fail to take note of her brooches. Ladybugs, apples, you name it. She had all sorts of them. Ohh how I love her patience with her students. Sometimes, students would sleep or pay less attention to her but she kept her face straight.

By then, my relationship with my boyfriend were growing and she was there while we first exchanged our ID cards. She was there. :) I remembered her noticing me wearing both IDs in class. I remembered her joke "Elisa dating dating pun datang kelas awal. Dating dengan student saya pulak". Yes, I remembered. I also happen to remember that everytime she caught us together, she would pretend to cough and Syafiq would joke "Miss nak strepsils?". :) Really, she was there during the right moments.

Then, nearing up to our finals, she stopped coming to classes. I learnt that she was hospitalized. because of leukemia. boyfriend visited joked shared stories hugged planted two light kisses on her cheeks as she did on mine. We wished for her to get well soon. The night before my ECO 162 final exam, she sent me a "Good Luck" text. I passed my second attempt, all thanks to her.

Growing up to my forth semester, we barely seen her around, but eventually did every now and then. She would always smile and grin at the sight of us, her two students. I met her at the Masquerade Dinner the college had. We talked a bit, joked. She even complimented our oh-so-called dance we had to do on stage that night. She looked great. She was wearing green. She looked okay. Syafiq even took a picture of me with her.

I never knew that would be our last meeting. Our last talk. Our last moment. If I knew, I'd told her I love her and thanked her for every inch of hard work she did for us, her students.

My boyfriend told me that we have to let go. All we could do is pray for her.

23rd March 2010, 2.oo pm witnessed the day she left everything she had and returned to Allah. May you rest in peace Miss Akidah.

I love you Miss Akidah. I'll always remember you and I'll never forget you advises.

Al - Fatihah.

and now I bid my farewell , so long ex - guy bff .

Again with hello mellow. Heh.
Just got a little tiny thing to say.

I do love my boyfriend even with the-never-ending-flaws I have, he still takes me as his girl and that's a reward, for me. However, I'm trying to keep my never-ending-flaws he has to keep up with as minimum as possible. In other words, I'm saying, I just want him to focus on my flaws, my behavior, my mistakes instead of "outsiders".

You see, "outsiders" refers to those jealous-much eye-catcher losers who never fails to make us feel uncomfortable with our relationship. I mean, I've got a few names up my sleeve. The previous post would obviously pin-point someone in particular. And yet, here's another person I am beginning to get sick of.

Being so fragile and stuff, I am just grateful that at a point, I had friends who are willing to bring me to the light. Tehee. Yeah, I said had. And I don't mean all of them. There are some, un-supportive people who are really getting on my nerves lately.

What's with the sarcasm Mister? I mean, yeahh, you've been there for me but I have a boyfriend now, who really is there for me all the time. And I am glad with that fact. I mean, if you really think I might choose you over him, you're wrong. I will gladly choose my boyfriend instead of you, even if it means losing you as one of my not-so-supportive friends. I get it. You think I am being snobbish and stick with my boyfriend all the time, yeah? Its true. AND that is my choice. It was never his choice. I drag him everywhere with me, whereas he never drags me with him. You see? I am the one making these decisions to be together wherever we are, not his. TOTALLY MINE.

But you, mister, your sarcasm has taken a toll and got me quite pissed off. I'd go wadefak silently seeing my boyfriend literally hurt with your comments. Believe me, it hurts the hell out of me, even in front of you. If you don't like my boyfriend, spit it out. If you want to see me live my life, why don't you live yours first? Its karma.

Fuck you I tell you. I deserve to be with him and even your so call mind-reading-abilities is not needed to hear me say this ; I hate you.

So hey, if you're thinking your sarcastic comments is free to go, you are just wrong right there. I hate you and your sarcasms. Go away. End.

Phewwwww. I feel kind of good. :) Whopee.

Ps : Hey boyfriend, I'm not gonna do as always. You know, back fire? :) I LOVE YOU.

bitchy bitchy yeah yeah tata .

Well, hello mellow.
Here is one thing I'd like to say in your sorry ass.
You don't get to talk about someone like you did sucker. You don't trash people like that. You don't say that one is too focused on one's love story that they flunked their exams.

No. It doesn't work that way when someone who repeated 4 papers and yet repeats another 1 of the 4, trashes about someone else who took 8 killer papers and repeats half of those killer papers. Unless you score with flying colors, of course I won't be so pissed off. Especially when that particular person is MY boyfriend. I bet you think that being involve in love life results in fatal exam results, you are wrong sucker. Look at you for instant. You're not involve in one, yet you are repeating the same main course paper for the third time. I mean, what does THAT tell you? Look at your friends (if you have any), look at them. They're involve in love life too, and they don't fail like you do. So, make up your own conclusion.

Psssst, here's my conclusion. Love inspires people to work harder. GOT IT?
Like, hello. Get on with your life already. We're sorry for you that you're abso-fuckin'-lutely unlucky in your love-life, just don't ruin ours. By-the-way and for-your-information ; I don't hate you. But I'm beginning to, seeing and hearing you giving my boyfriend a hard time every now and then. He gets pissed off and ruined his mood and directly ruined mine too. Literally. So, back off.

Plus hey, what's with all the negative attention we're getting? Hate you gossipers and haters. Waddefak.


.
.
.

Oooooh, that felt awesome.
Toodles yaww.

i love you ♥

Seven Months

I love you Syafique