a wish to be granted .

private getaway :)

Syafique dearest,
Frankly speaking, is it possible if I ask you to reserve a room in our future home together (god willing) for a bulit-in library? It need not be spacious or large, just filled with white shelves around the room, the sliding stairs for me to reach up the books on top, a window large enough for the windy blowing evenings, and two cozy couches with leg rest just for you and me. :)

As you may already know, I am a book addict. I enjoy reading, not that you are not aware of that. Having a built-in library will be the ultimate dream come true (apart from you). Can you imagine, a library only for us, filled with books you and me both love. We would collect and buy books and fill the shelves with them. We would read books together, and I would make you tea with biscuits so you won't get bored. Not only that, it will also be our on private getaway from others. Books, as you may know, releases stress and help ease our mind. Surely we would get tired from work, and a good book will definitely lift up our spirit. :)

Not only that, I will promise (with all my loving heart) that I will keep it tidy and clean at all times. We would share our heaven with guests attending our cozy home. We would teach our own juniors, god willing, to enjoy a good book. :)

So, will you, will you, will you? Will you please grant my oh-so-desperate wish?

PS : Seems crazy, eh? Yes, yes, Imma book crazer.

Love,
Bbygirl.

i have nothing else to say . . . not !

A story, or two.

Last night went smoothly, after that massive row we had. Not quite as massive as we've had before, but yesterday's fight had really broken my heart. I was in agony, thinking of him. He called last night. I can't believe he did, after being so pissed at me. He was being really nice, and it touched the strings of my fragile little heart. How can he be so calm and called me with pampering names after getting pissed by myself? That, is still a puzzle. So, it went well. He promised he would call back at midnight. I waited, can't really imagine what we would talk about. I scarcely believed that he was gonna bring up the whole noon secret-breaking situation and got really mad at me.

He called again. He was still being nice and made me really nervous. Kept making me think, when is this guy gonna break it down and get really mad. To my own surprise, he just advised me. Not to do that again. "We'll just share everything with each other and not with others." Gosh. You're such an angel Love. We ended up talking on the phone for two straight hours, with me blushing all the way. *Giggles. Mind you, we really went "Eeww" for those so-called-romantic couples, but actually, we're just the same in our own 'romantic' way. LOL. He wished me good luck for my paper and wished me good night. :')

(Terharu dimanjakan sampai begitu sekali oleh boyfriend. :P )

Aza called too. :) Miss you damn much dearest. Thanks for caring and wishing me good luck for my papers. I love you very much.

AIS 280.

I woke up at 5:55 am after battling with my alarm for an hour. The song Fuck You by Lily Allen screamed to my ears and made me screamed "Fak Yu, lemme sleep" back at the singing vibrating phone. Who is to blame? It was only doing its duty to wake me up on time. I got ready and became really anxious. Will I make it? Sayang had asked me to be early because I am prone to be late to exams, every single time! :P Luckily, I was early, by an hour. Geez. Talk about being early. I sat there, all alone while others came in groups of twos or threes. Never mind, I am used to sitting alone. Then, this group who I thought of pretending I don't recognized came screaming my name in front of me, at me. :D

(Walaah. Tak ke terkejut kaw-kaw semua orang? Eheh. Takdela, kan tempat tu bising macam pasar malam.)

Who else than the rather dashing group ; Lynn, Chubee, Dfan, Yana, Syue and not in view, Syaz..

(Weyh korang, ni nama masuk blog lagi :P )

Inside the freakishly huge hall, I felt sick. I felt dizzy. I managed answering all questions before deciding to leave at 10:50 am. Sheeeesh. As I step towards my bag, I spotted Dfan, who apparently, just left the hall two.

Eh, eh, bila kau keluar? Tak nampak pun. HAHA.

My sunshine picked me up and we went for brunch. Ate Nasi Ayam at Ampang. Yum yum. It was nice. Then, we strolled around Pavilion, with me as the innocent Baju Kurung-ed girl. I was asked to behave, since I was wearing Baju Kurung. OK, OK. Behave, I did. We stopped by at Times, the bookstore. As I self-ly claimed, bookstores are my heaven on Earth. Sunshine brought me there, because he knows my passion for books and words. We end up at Relationship Section. I flipped through one book with a poem "Baby, you are. . ." Sunshine recited the oh-so-sweet poem for me, making me all flattery and giddy, there and then. LOL.

Then, he sent me home. :)

Jeez, I love you lah. Only you. I can't imagine myself loving anyone else but you. *Wink.

PS : Yes sweetheart, 9th September would be the ideal date for it.
PSS : Nina's birthday in on 9th November. See? The number 9 seems to revolve around my life, perfectly.

on the 'pagar' .

The thing is my darling Nina,

they're the only ones I have around here that I can be myself with,

of course, apart from my Sunshine. (and y-o-u !)

*BIG grin*

so-called girls talk .

I'm in need of help. -___-

Do you have any idea how I feel right now? Have you ever feel like you've trusted someone so hard but she ended up bragging your details to everyone with the sense of humor, every single time. Yes, it must have looked so stupid to trust her again, but what if she's the only person you'd meet occasionally and could be yourself with? I need someone to talk to, apart from my own spouse of course. It does seems irrational, trusting her over and over again. As I said, it happened every time. I mean, yes, you brag with humor, but would you think of the consequences? You just made two loving people quarrel because of that minor detail you blurted out laughing. Sheesh.

So, who is to blame?
Myself? Yes, maybe.
That secret-breaker? Perhaps.
My other half? No. I don't think so.

But seriously, I never would expect her to blabber every single thing and take them like jokes. I had never tell out her secrets to her spouse, thinking of her relationship. I'm just asking for the same thing. :( It was suppose to be 'girls talk' and be forgotten after that. But noooo, that frankly never happen. *Sighs. I'm just torn in halves. Because of her, my own other half is so furious at me he's starting to get pissed with me.

I said 'Thanks' sarcastically.
I received 'Who's this?' in return.

WTF? Well, thanks a lot.

PS : I can't concentrate on my studies. I have AIS 280 tomorrow. :( HELP ME. *Sobs.

it was easy, but it was bad.

MGT 215.

I woke up at 7 am, got ready like a bee and rushed to college. Actually, Momma was rushing and I wore crumpled KPTM shirt with ruined black pants. Huff puff. I called Sayang when I reached Titiwangsa.

E : Hello.
S : Emm, hello.
E : Sayang kat mana?
S : Kat rumah. Baby pergi college tak?
E : Baby kat Titiwangsa. Sayang kat rumah mana?
S : Kat SK. Kenapa tak call tadi?
E : Baby rushing. Sayang dah mandi?
S : Erm, dah? Sayang kejap je.
E : Nanti bawak Baby pergi rumah Lynn boleh?
S : Kenapa?
E : Baby nak gosok baju. :P
S : Ok.

Hee, unbelievable. That's ok. Lynn stays near where Syafique stay in Pandan. To be frank, just one floor away. :)

Met Sayang, and rode away to Pandan Heights. I ironed my crumpled shirt and then his. Tehee. We're a pair. We both wore that orange KPTM uniform. :P Then, I ironed my hair and let the wind blew through them.

S : Dah perasan la tu, rambut kena tiup dengan angin. Tah pape la Baby ni. Heehhh.

BUT you love it right Sayang? Heeeeeeeeee. Then, we started getting serious and studied like two soldiers going to battle.

S : Baby, Decision Making steps.
E : Recognition, diagnosis, selecting, implementing, feedback. (Erk, tak cukup satu.)
S : Centralization is ..........
E : Equity theory tu macam ni .......

Then, he lied down on my lap (manja) and we continued.

E : Ok, ni Expectancy Theory. E to P. P to O. Valence.
S : Oooooh. Hey, kita faham definition je. Japgi nak goreng macam mana?
E : Alaaah, tulis je la apa kita cerita ni.
S : Baby ye la, caiya English.
E : Tah pape la kan Sayang ni. Cepat-cepat. Ulang balik Two Factor Theory.
S : Hygiene factors dengan motivators ............
E : Sayang, power is ........... influence ...............
S : Yang ni mesti masuk ni .....

Finally, we finished our last minute revision at Lynn's house. *Phew. It was already reaching to 1 pm.

L : Darling, taknak makan ke?
E : Nak, nak, jom la, gerak terus.
L : Lisa nak naik dengan Lynn ke, dengan Syafiq?
E : Syafiq. Hehe.

So, we wore our uniforms back and got ready. Suddenly ...

E : Huh. Apesal kipas tiba-tiba berenti Sayang?
S : Black out laaaa.

Lynn went out to check on the fuse box thingy, she went in with a funny worried face.

L : Lisaaaaa. Bukan rumah Lynn je blackout, lif pun blackout.
S : Tunggu kejap. Lif kan ada energy dia sendiri, 5 minit nanti dia on balik.

Ok. So we waited and joked outside the elevator. Few minutes later, we decided to take the stairs. (Lynn is staying at level 15 yawwww) Finally, we reached the ground dengan bontot tonggek. :P Lynn decided to eat Santai, Tesco Ampang. Pfft, I ain't got no helmet with me. AND I had my hair blown by the wind. :D

Nevermind then. We skipped eating together and had our own 'romantic' lunch. Maggi Goreng 2, tapi letak satu pinggan. Heeee, 'romantic'? I know. :P After we ate, we rushed. Huff puff. I couldn't get a seat near him. He sat quite far but we're the only ones with the same outfit. *Wink. So, with all I had, I am confident to take my first paper. I believed that we both had worked our asses off to pass this paper, even if not with flying colors. So, where's my questions? Hit me!

(Sneak peek of the oh-so-scary paper!)

4) Explain what is grapevine? Is grapevine a good thing, or can it cause difficulties in business organizations? How _____________________. (10 marks)

OK peeps. What is grapevine? Gosh. Part A. Oh come on. Critical thinking? I've memorized too much for this. -___- Mind you, there is not even one 'grapevine' word in the case study. I flipped to Part B. OH maaaaaaaaan. Where are all the tough questions? Where are the steps, types, theories I've memorized? All they ask is critical thinking questions about definitions. Yes, of course definition is easy, but I'm a little bit disappointed. :( I've read a lot and NONE came out. OK, one did. 'Span of control' for 5 marks. Whoopee. I left 40 minutes early (I think) and sighed. At least I take the paper. Few minutes later, few girls came out. They laughed at each other nervously and I heard their conversation from a far.

A : Weeeehhh. -__-
B : Aduh. Tah pape laa.
A : Question 4 (refer to the above question) kau jawab?
B : Tak doh. Kau?
A : Tak jugak doh. Heh.

Later after that, Syafique came out. He smiled at me. Without further due, I asked while he is still walking towards me.

E : Sayang, grapevine ape grapevine?
S : Taktau. Yang tu Sayang tak jawab.
E : Baby jawab ______________. (Malu nak cerita.)
S : Sayang takut nak goreng, takut pemeriksa bengang ke tension ke.
E : -___-

Grapevine.
grape·vine /ˈgreɪpˌvaɪn/ greyp-vahyn
–noun
1. a vine that bears grapes.
2. Also called grapevine telegraph. a person-to-person method of spreading rumors, gossip, information, etc., by informal or unofficial conversation, letter writing, or the like.
3. a private or secret source of information.

After all hustles, Syafique send me home. :) Thanks Sayang. I love you very much. Muah.

on HIATUS for the upcoming finals.

Woot woot. Finals are rolling down baby. OMG. I so can't believe its happening so soon. I know I should not be writing this now, but I have to write it down to get it off my chest. I am so scared. *Gawk. Here's my schedule. :)

Wednesday, 21st April 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
MGT 215

Sunday, 25th April 2010
9.00 am - 12.00 pm
AIS 280

Monday, 3rd May 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
MAF 220

Sunday, 9th May 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
FAR 200

AND this is the boyfriend’s schedule date with the papers. :)

Wednesday, 21st April 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
MGT 215

Monday, 3rd May 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
MAF 220

Thursday, 6th May 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
LAW 240

Saturday, 8th May 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
FAR 250

Eh? Not bad eyh? Got plenty of times in between to do last minutes pickups! Wish us luck geeks.

she was impressed but i broke his heart .

Hi bloggie. Do you miss your mommy? I'm so sorry because I've been unfair to you, my dear bloggie and practice favoritism in choosing Heart Taker Story and neglect you for some time.

Woot woot.

I won't be talking much here. I just wanna share a bit experience I had gathered today, during MGT215 class. Yes, I repeat that fucked up reading-supposedly-EASY-paper, dumbly. >.< successfully :)

The gal pals which I had been randomly put in by none other the lecturer herself had gave me the last, not-so-important slide to present about. Equity Theory. It was mind-bugling that I had prepared nothing to face this presentation. I stood up, empty-handed, shivering all over and creaky voice. Yes, it is that bad when I get all nervous.

- Okay, I knew I said it was going to be short and sweet -

While my fellow group mates are presenting their part to the community of Section 2 MGT215, I was rambling and sending text messages to my boyfriend who is sitting at the back of the class. I made him print out a little note I had in my thumb-drive so I would not look like an idiot standing up front not knowing what to explain. He was late :( He missed my part, and I was devastated. I had been very nervous because he was suppose to be there, and support me from behind.

My turn came, and he hadn't showed up yet. Okay, here goes err... Equity Theory. I remembered I heard myself said something about the relationship between input and outcomes, motivation, yadayadayada. My cheeks were burning, good thing it was dark upfront. I look over my boyfriend's empty seat and sighed. My lecturer, who was sitting next to our desk (mine and his - we intend to keep a low profile in class but will always fail..) was smiling. Geez. I must be embarrassing myself to make her smile like that. As I said "When all else fails . . ." she was grinning towards me and made me think 'Did I had my grammar wrong because she is strictly sensitive in grammar and pronunciation...' Then, I had to say "That's all, thank you." And she said "Good job, thank you."

So, I went back to my seat, next to my boyfriend who came back at the eleventh hour of my part. I sighed deeply and he looked hurt. He missed my part. :(

However, the woman in control of the class turned towards us and congratulated me.

Good job Elisa. I understand perfectly. Very clear and straight forward.
I grinned sheepishly (with a little bit of blush) and thanked her.
Thank you.
Do you speak English when you were small?
Yes. :)

"Until now. . ." added the boyfriend.

Geez. I'm just glad I impressed her, but I am fucked up I made my boyfriend miss my part. :( So I made a promise. I would speak English with my boyfriend starting today. :)

survey .

WHAT WAS YOUR :

1. Last beverage :
Plain water.

2. Last phone call :
My little sis, calling me from her bedroom to wake me up.

3. Last text message :
Is from Syafique.

4. Last song you listened to :
Acting Out ; Ashley Tisdale.

5. Last time you cried :
Aaaah, this very evening.

HAVE YOU EVER :

6. Dated someone twice :
No. Its a one time chance. Too bad they screw up theirs.

7. Been cheated on :
I assume it's a lifestyle.

8. Kissed someone & regretted it :
No.

9. Lost someone special :
Missing her now. :'/

10. Been depressed :
Countless times.

11. Been drunk and threw up :
Heh, no.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS :

12. Pink.
13. Red.
14. Black.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU : (2010)

15. Made a new friend :
Aaaaah, no.

16. Fallen out of love :
Geez.

17. Laughed until you cried :
Perhaps?

18. Met someone who changed you :
I did, last year.

19. Found out who your true friends were :
Yeah yeah yeahh.

20. Found out someone was talking about you :
I couldn't care less.

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list :
*Wink wink*

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life :
Aaaaah, depends on if they knew me.

23. How many kids do you want? :
Three.

24. Do you have any pets :
My comel~

25. Do you want to change your name :
Strictly speaking, no :)

26. What did you do for your last birthday :
I called my boyfriend (then crushee) for four full hours. :D

27. What time did you wake up today :
I lost track of time.

28. What were you doing at midnight :
Tossing and turning.

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for :
An apology.

30. Last time you saw your Mother :
5 minutes ago.

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life :
Everyone's perceptions of me.

32. What are you listening to right now :
The sound of my heart breaking. Tsk tsk.

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom :
Heh, never.

34. What's getting on your nerves right now :
Him? Mhmm.

35. Most visited webpage :
Tumblr, Blogspot.

36. What's your real name :
Elisa Aiza.

37. Nicknames :
Ell. 'Nuff said.

38. Relationship Status :
In a serious relationship, but he's mingling.

39. Zodiac sign :
Cancer.

40. Male or female? :
Female.

41. Primary School?:
SK Seksyen 7 Kota Damansara. *formerly known as SKS7 Sg. Buloh*

42. Secondary School? :
SMK Seksyen 10 Kota Damansara.

43. College? :
Kolej Poly-Tech MARA

44. Hair colour :
VERY dark brown.

45. Long or short :
Medium.

46. Height :
157cm.

47. Do you have a crush on someone? :
Yes, ever since I saw him in class, the day he proposed, now and ever.

48: What do you like about yourself? :
Nothing.

49. Piercings :
Naaah.

51. Righty or lefty :
Lefty~

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery :
Double surgery, last December.

53. First piercing :
1997.

54. First best friend :
Cikoma~

55. First sport you joined :
Swimming.

56. First vacation :
Langkawi perhaps?

RIGHT NOW :

59. Eating :
Nope.

60. Drinking :
Na-ah.

61. I'm about to :
Take a breather.

62. Listening to :
The fan.

63. Waiting for :
An apology.

YOUR FUTURE :

64. What kids? :
Err?

65. Get Married? :
Around 25? :)

66. Career :
Ngennggg. An accountant-slash-wifey?

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes :
Eyes :)

68. Hugs or kisses :
Erk. Erk. Kisses.

69. Shorter or taller :
Taller.

70. Older or Younger :
Older. :))

71. Romantic or spontaneous :
Spontaneous.

72. Nice stomach or nice arms :
Nice arms.

73. Sensitive or loud :
SENSITIVE.

74. Hook-up or relationship :
Relationship.

75. Troublemaker or hesitant :
Hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger :
Pfft.

77. Drank hard liquor :
Nope.

78. Lost glasses/contacts :
Don't wear 'em.

79. Sex on first date :
Sheesh.

80. Broken someone's heart :
No griffin' idea.

82. Been arrested :
Nope.

83. Turned someone down :
No idea.

84. Cried when someone died :
Gosh. Tsk tsk.

85. Fallen for a friend? :
Never.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN :

86. Yourself :
Confusingly, no.

87. Miracles :
>.<

88. Love at first sight :
Aye.

89. Heaven :
Yes.

90. Santa Claus :
A fat man down the chimney? Its breaking and entering. Illegal if you ask me. :P

91. Kiss on the first date :
Naaah.

92. Angels :
Sure.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time :
That was so last summer.

95. Did you sing today? :
Nope.

96. Ever cheated on somebody? :
Maybe?

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go :
The day I fall for Syafique.

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? :
August 9th, 2009.

99. Are you afraid of falling in love? :
I commit deeply.

100. Posting this as 100 truths? :
Heh.

i love you ♥

Eight Months

I love you Syafique