epic comeback.

Hey. Yeah, its been a while. Too long since I last wrote anything, except for my auto-anniversary-posts. Can you believe it? 1 year 4 months and still counting. :D I love you Syafique. Notice the header? My eyes in this shot were ridiculously weird so I decided to cover them up. But hey, look at the hottie next to me. Isn't he hawt? Aaaauuuwww~ He is hot. AND he is always going "I'm not good looking" bullshit. Sweetheart, you are hawt.

That shot was taken on our anniversary, at the KLIMS '10. It was awesome. We had several anniversary souvenirs. Like, we paid 25 for two shots with Bumblebee from Transformers. I am not into the movies, but I was so into the animated series way back when I was a little brat (which I still am.) But, its off limits to thy readers, sorry.

See? Syafique with Hang Lekir and Proton model. Susah payah tauk nak kasi model tu out of the picture, tapi dia pose jugak. Hish. -__-' Bantai ajelah. Nasib baik jauh. :D Ghehehe.

Anyway, moving on. Results! My results were okay. Average, as always. Haih. I am such an average girl. I wanna be better. I am suppose to. For myself, and family, and my own in the future. *Wink wink*.

Few weeks ago, Momma treated me and my sibs to Rapunzel Tangled Tale, or I think it was the title. So anyway, it was so beautiful, and since Rapunzel was never a Disney Princess, this movie really put her in the zone. The songs was tearful, and Pascal, her baby chameleon is uber cutie~ But my Syafique tops eveything. :P

I remembered, I was talking to Syafique one time, while watching tv shows. This was more or less.

Ell : Sayang, rata-rata orang nama Lisa mesti muka tahpape kan. Tak lawa sangat.

Syafiq : Ha'ah. Muka biasa-biasa.

Ell : Macam dalam ANTM dulu, ada sorang tu nama Lisa, tak lawa sangat. Kenapa eh. Hish.

Syafiq : Tapi ada la sorang nama Lisa cantik.

Ell : Huh?

Syafiq : Elisa Aiza.

Ell : *Blush* Tahpape la kan. Saje la tu nak buat orang perasan.

Awwwww. You are too sweet. Sorry lahh, I only wanna talk about this man, and nothing else that matters more.

Toodles.

i love you ♥

Sixteen Months

I love you Syafique

i love you ♥

Fifteen Months

I love you Syafique

i love you ♥

Fourteen Months

I love you Syafique

i love you ♥

Thirteen Months

I love you Syafique

material safety data sheet.

Substance: Woman
Chemical system: Wo
manufacturer: God
Typical size: Average weight 115 lbs; specimens can vary from 90-200 lbs.
Occurrence: large quantities found in urban areas and shopping malls


PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface tension – soft and warm.
2. Exposed surfaces usually cosmetically enhanced.
3. Boils at nothing.
4. Freezes without reason.
5. Melts with special reason.
6. Flavor initially sweet, becomes bitter if used incorrectly.
7. Found in various states of purity from virgin metal to common ore.
8. Yields to pressure if applied to specific points.
9. Sometimes enlarges alarmingly with age.
10. Even brief linking with male substance can cause substance to reproduce with marked physical and mental changes.


CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has affinity for gold, silver and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. Highly volatile for reasons not clearly understood.
4. Verbal activity greatly increased by alcohol saturation.
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known. (See HAZARDS #3).


COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental.
2. Relatively brief exposure can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Pleasurable companion until legally owned.

SUBSTANCE VERIFICATION:

1. Pure specimen turns bright pink when observed in natural state.
2. Turns green when compared to better specimen.

HAZARDS:

1. May explode spontaneously without cause.
2. Illegal to possess more than one specimen at a time.
3. Avoid specimen contact with plastic credit cards.

posto merdeka.

Lis.

OK. Kalau kira-kira logika, memang Lis ni ada pada nama aku. Cumanya, memang tak pernah la orang panggil aku Lis. Geli kauu. Lis, macam nama minah-minah je weh. Tak kuasa aku. Sahabat handai pun takda nya panggil aku Lis. Paling koman pun, diorang panggil aku Elisa, nama formaliti aku. Nak informal sikit, Lisa je cukup la. Nak <s>mengada</s> comel sikit, ada panggil aku El. Takpun nama kedua aku, Cha. Tapi tak pernah pulak la aku digelar Lis.


Nak dipanjang cerita, aku tadi tergelak ketawa muahahaha muahahaha dengan pencuri hati aku, Syafiq tu. Ada pulak babihutan mana aku tak kenal misscall aku. Menurut perintah pencuri hati aku, disuruh tanya siapa gerangan menjatuh mood. Sekali babihutan tu hantar SMS panjang berjela kat aku, siap panggil aku Lis, cakap dia band apeke benda la aku pun tak amek tau benda-benda cenggini ni.. Tahu perasaan bengang + dituduh bagai? Memang kalau aku jumpa sibabihutan ni, aku sepak kau, biar kau mampus. Perosak kemanan. Teroris bak kata omputeh. Dan orang lain, jangan gedik panggil aku Lis. Paham istilah geli?


Dah alang-alang aku mood amarah ni, ada lagi satu benda aku bengang. Bengang dengan mereka mereka (tertakluk kepada wanita sahaja) yang menegur sapa pencuri hati aku dan buat aku kat sebelah yang bertenggek tak melepasn menghempit macam patung. Helo? Buta apa? Nampak tak pompuan berstatus awek dia sebelah mamat korang tegor ni? Kau nampak? Kau senyum kat aku skali la. Kau jangan tegor laki aku je. PEROSAK KEAMANAN AKU. Nanti yang jadi mangsa, pencuri hati aku la. Mula aku beremosi dingin. Bengang betul aku. Contohhilaaahhh sahabat handai beliau, dorang takde la buat aku macam angin. Ingat aku dok seblah, senyap macam batu tu takda rasa apa la? Baguss.


Dah la. Mood aku tak baik. Aku taip bahasa jiwa bangsa kasi feel melayu sikit. Alang-alang nak sambut Merdeka ni, aku belasah je. Dulu SPM aku dapat C je. Tak hebatt. Ala kadar cukup makan. Memang aku lemah.

Tapi macam dah salah pulak niat aku.


Selamat Menyambut Kemerdekaan ke 53.


PS : Aku ELISA AIZA.

HAPPY RAMADHAN AL-MUBARAK !

that's not muh name.

No more. No more. No more.

ED / EDD / EDDY / EDDIE

JO / JOHN / JOHNNY

AhPEcK

*scratch 'em!*

Just plain same ol same ol

MUHAMMAD NORSYAFIQ

a.k.a

SYAFIQ

and I am

ELISA AIZA :D

i love you ♥

Twelve Months

I love you Syafique

but there's a change that has come over me, so before you go, listen to my last plea.

Hi everyone! :) Miss me? LOL.

Anyway, I've been busy running here and there, faithfully accompanied by the Boyfriend. Heee. Yes, he is my I'll-stand-by-you partner. OH how I love thee. Guess what? We are reaching our 1 year anniversary! :) Woot woot. OH, I am so happy, I tell you. I am blessed, I am loved, I am in love.

As the result of being too happy, my weight is also being "happy" and starts to gain itself more and more each day. Ughhh. I'm telling you, I am no longer in my safe zone but I still wanna eat all these delicious food lying all around me.

When I am bored, I wanna eat. When I am happy, I wanna eat. When I am devastated, I wanna eat. Especially when I am furious, I would love to munch something to ease the moods. Jeez. Fatso me. :(

I am trying to lose weight but failing. Boyfriend told me my determination is really not satisfying like it was. He told me, last year, I was determined to lose weight and I did within a week had some changes on my body. HEY, where is that passion to lose weight gone to? Tension bangat dehh.

Baaaah, not much to talk about. Heeee. I am so looking forward for our Anniversary! :)

Love,
Ell.

$54.50. bullshit.

Add up the things you’ve done and the total will be your title.


1. had sex: $10.00

2. smoked: $3.00

3. got like truly really drunk: $7.00

4. went skinny dipping: $5.00

5. kissed someone of the opposite sex: $5.00

6. kissed someone of the same sex: $5.00

7. cheated on a test: $2.00

8. fell asleep in class $0.50

9. been expelled: $5.00

10. been in a fist fight: $10.00

11. given oral: $10.00

12. got oral: $10.00

13. prank called the cops: $3.00

14. stole something: $2.00

15. done drugs: $5.00

16. dyed your hair: $0.50

17. done something with someone older (like a few years): $3.00

18. went out with someone over 18 (if you’re under 18): $4.00

19. ate a whole thing of oreos: $0.50

20. cried yourself to sleep: $1.00

21. said you love someone but didnt mean it: $1.00

22. been in love: $4.00

23. got caught doing something that you shouldn’t have been doing: $1.00

24. went streaking: $4.00

25. got arrested: $5.00

26. made out with someone: $2.00

27. peed in the pool: $0.50

28. played spin the bottle: $1.00

29. done something you regret:$3.00

i love you ♥

Eleven Months

I love you Syafique

my superhero in need.

for keepsake.

That's my HERO over there.

Mademoiselle Azalina Suzianti ♥

gambar comel nak mampus :)

Teman sejati hati.

Teman pemberi bahu untuk disandar dan menangis, tanpa kata-kata.

Teman ketawa, hilai tawa bagai orang gila, lupa dunia, lupa sengsara, lupa mereka.

Hanya berdua dengan 1001 kisah kita.

Teman penyimpan rahsia, segala rahsia di dalam hati dibongkar bersama.

*Sighs.

Tak pandai pula nak buat bahasa puitis, tak pandai nak describe seseorang macam ni. Sorry.

Babe, you're my heart's company.

We were teenagers back when we first met, 16 years old as I recall.
Now, we are turning 20 years old.

We had almost everything in common. You name it.

Rumah sukan? Sama-sama rumah Kuning.

Family? Sama-sama anak sulung perempuan.

Kita sama-sama Kidal, kita sama-sama Cancerian. *Sep.

Bangga tauu, jumpa sahabat yang serupa diri kita sendiri. Tak semua orang bertuah macam ni.

Masa tu, semua orang pun perasan, di mana ada Aza situ ada Lisa dekat sebelah.

Kita belangkas, tak sah kalau tak bersama.

Kalau seorang tak datang, yang lagi seorang mesti jadi mangsa soalan bertubi-tubi.

Kelas Chemistry, kita lab partners.

Geng ponteng kelas, balik-balik, muka ni juga la kan.

Tuisyen Kasturi kat Kelana Jaya tu, sama-sama juga.

Lari-lari macam orang gila kat LRT Kelana Jaya. HAHA. Itu la paling lawak. Takpe, takpe, rahsia kan :)

Ingat tak kita makan Marco's Pizza, Mushroom Soup dia tak sedap langsung, tapi Chef tu tengok-tengok, kita pun buat-buat suka, tapi tak habis pun. LOL. Dah la tamak kan?

First time pergi KL Sentral pun dengan muka ni juga.

Ingat lagi MP3 Sony yang kita beli sama-sama tu?

Lisa Pink, Aza Baby Blue.

Bawa pergi sekolah, semua orang pinjam. Sorok dalam baju sekolah kan. *Giggles.

Apa yang berbeza? Ketinggian, and tona kulit lah. :P

Four years later, we are still together, as strong as ever.

I never stopped loving you, because you are forever my girl best friend.

There are too much memories of us, and yes babe, we will build more of them.

Life may have its own mysteries for us, but we will go through, together.

Happy 20th Birthday ; Nur Azalina Suzianti.

I love you.

Have a blasting birthday.

God bless you Sweetheart.

a desperate wish. ignore, or not to ignore.

Oh please please please please with cherry on top of sundae, FLY FM.

Gimme those 4 tickets to Twilight Saga back-to-back movies "Slumber Party", that is held on MY birthday! PLEASE! :( Siapa nak tolong menangkan tiket-tiket tuu? :( Saya desperate gila ni. *Screams! Its gonna be a triple treat ;
 

a) My 20th birthday. (Boo!)

b) Our 11th anniversary. (Yayyy!!)

c) Twilight Saga, back-to-back. My boyfriend and I are Twi-hard fans!

(He is my Edward Cullen, I am his Isabella Swan.)

Shit. I sound like a desperate bitch, with the glam fact that I AM. Aaaaaagh. Nak nak nakk. :(

PS : Sorry. Ingin sesuatu yang berbeza untuk hari yang istimewa. Tsk tsk.

PSS : Dapat makan Durian ; the King of fruits pun jadi lah.

a little less here, a little more there.

Will not update here as much anymore. I have a brand new demanding life, that specifically revolves around the Boyfriend. More updates will be on my other blog ; 

Heart Taker Story. 

PS : So long and goodbye.

PSS : I just am so into him, I am pretty much obsessed with the Lover.

stop right now, thank you very much.

This few days have been quite a chaos for me.

Thursday.

Head up to college with the Boyfriend. Had the most joyful day, to date. Got free basic driving class from the lover. (Yes, I am that lame~) Grandparents, Tok (my grandma) and Wan (my grandpa) visited and spent the night. I figured that it was them when they trailed my super slowmo driving class back home. Aaaah, shame on me.

Friday.

Tok and Wan left for Chik's house, Momma's baby sister and spent their night there. Oh, and we (my sisters and I) received early Eid's accessories that Tok bought for us when they went for Umrah few weeks ago. I got a small handbag/big pouch in black which is hot, a white silvery-princess-like hair band which is hot and a shiny bracelet with shiny stones on it. Yayyy. I love them. My sisters got something similar, except their pouches are smaller and kiddy-like and got beads bracelet instead, and their hair band are not silver color like mine. Wee~ All cousins (girls) got the same stuffs too, different colors laaah. Tok always bought us accessories when she went for Umrah. :) So, not much of work on Friday.

Saturday.

By midnight Momma's only brother, Pak Lang with his wife, Chu Chik and kids, Farah, Adam and Mikhael arrived. Everyone pretty much slept after 5 in the morning, because Mikhael vomited several times due to excessive junk food intake. Heee. Pity him. Pak Lang and Chu Chik brought him to see a doctor, I am not sure where. We all slept like pigs after that. LOL.

Sunday.

I woke up by 9. So much of an early riser, eh? Cleaned and helped Momma cooked. Everyone else pretty much wakes up after 11. Heeeee. By noon, it was so chaotic, I am sure if I sneaked out, no one would even bother. :P Anyway, the adults called Achu, the baby aunt, but she won't came here. Hmmmmm. By 3 pm, Tok and Wan came to our place with Chik and her three kids, Aidil, Ai Chang and Baby. We all love Baby, because she is currently the baby of the family. Her husband, Pak Chik takda, working on a Saturday. :( So, count on then, a lot of people were there. Later that evening, Pak Lang sent Chik home while Tok and Wan spent the night at our place.

Monday.

My sisters went to school accordingly, Tok and Wan left for Baling, and the cousins skipped school. Pak Lang gave me a free cooking class, Gulai Utagha. :P Around 3, Pak Lang took us to Concorde where Chu Chik is doing some training for work and we, the third generation enjoyed the swimming pool. Here is the funny part! But I am too lazy to tell everything. The summary, a bunch of foreigners who seems like they have never seen a swimming pool before went oohh and aaah when us kids swam around and tried to copied us. Heeeeeeee. Seriously, we could not stop laughing when all 13 adults were fascinated by our basic swimming skills. It was hilarious. :) Pak Lang amused us when he did Headstand, and swam backwards, because they tried it too. LOL.

Tuesday.

So, its Tuesday now. TODAY! We're going to Concorde again after lunch.. Pak Lang is cooking in the kitchen. :P Hee. He's a great cook, like my own Abah. :)

Waaaaah. Busy much. :D

creepy stalker alert.

AND I am freaking out.

It really scares me, and it pisses my boyfriend off.
 
Geee, what a major loser! Get a life, please. We have no relationship at all! We have never been in one. You are just too dreamy, too hopeful, its disgusting. You are one pathetic person. Stop doing what you do, because it i annoying. Have respect. Don't waste your life and pathetically hope things go your way. REALITY CHECK! The world does not revolve around you. Things don't just go your way? Well, boohoo. Too bad. Stop being such a loser. GET A MEANINGFUL LIFE.


Aaaaaaaaaaaa, Sayang, Baby betul betul takut. :(


PS: Stalker, kau takde pemikiran yang waras ke? Jangan ganggu hidup aku yang serba lengkap boleh? Kau stalk orang lain, yang lagi tujuh belas tu boleh? Aku tak suka kau anggap aku ada hubungan yang tak pernah 'declare'. AND tolonglah, stop STEALING our photos. Pathetic gila tau.

america's next top model le cycle 13 .

To be honest, I am addicted to ANTM since the third season. :P I think the show was awesome. Watching those pretty models do the runway walk, taking editorial photos. Geee, and I love Tyra Banks. She is awesome. Then after season 9 I think, I stopped watching cause I did not have much time. The other day, I was watching TV and the ad for ANTM Cycle 13 was up. Guess what? Its for petite girls (like me! :P) I mean, below 5'7 like all those lean tall models. I believe I am just around 5'1 or 5'2. Yes, that short. Boohoo. So, watching cycle 13 really is, GRREEEEAAAT. All the girls were short, and small. :) Yayyy! I love Cycle 13. The first episode, they had to re-create their baby pictures, and I totally love Nicole! She's freaky quiet and acted dumb, but she was awesome. I spoiled myself by going up to ANTM website. *Sobs. I am soooo looking forward to more Cycle 13 episodes. Go petite girls!

Bytheway, it is darn hard to get past the log in page to check the results. Look what they gave me for refreshing millions of times. Pfft. Darn youuu.

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

i love you ♥

Ten Months

I love you Syafique

the answer is really right there .

Remember that one particular post where I rambled to myself? Ok, I practically rambled to myself all the time. I am talking about this particular post ;

you corrupt me, and us. goodbye you .

Yes, that one. I think I know the answer. I mean, who am I kidding? I already know the answer from the very beginning. There is no waaaaay he would pick me over his super duper best-of-the-best number one BFF. Seriously. No kidding. I mean, of all the things he would do for her, and all the things he won't for me. Its pretty much points out who get more attention. :')

Mind boggling eh?

OH yeah, the other day, he got this text from a number he won't pass to me that sounds like this ;

Hi edd its me, hw r u? Natalie want u to knoe that she’ll be going to s’wak this comin’ friday,stayin there fr 2weeks wth her parents. Jus want 2 let u knoe, natalie said she can’t reach u. Busiest beshfren. yaww~ that’s what she said. Flight at 8pm. If wanna go wth us, jus call me kay. :* nite…

Even my boyfriend don't wanna tell me who she was, I already know. Piece of cake. I'm not stupid. I have girlfriend-instincts and I know who to hate, and apparently, my hate choice is ALWAYS right, especially when I made a choice, then finding the evidence in the future.

PS : Its Bitchkien.
PSS : Emotional.
PSSS : I hate sharing.

boyfriend alert .

Ok. I know I looked a little bit weeee weird here, but I really love this one. :) I have no idea why my pout looks like that, but look! he pouted like me, I mean, basically, we had the same look for this shot without any planning. Awww~ 


Saya manja dengan Boyfriend saya. :) Tengok la, saya duduk atas peha dia. Comel tak sama-sama biru? :P
I love it when we wear the same colored outfit.


I love you, Boyfriend.


PS : Wish for us. Pray for us.
PSS : And you people, unwanted people, move away. He's mine.

mercy .

Remember that Mercy episode I told you about? I watched another Mercy episode just few minutes ago. It started with a patient name Bill that is in a coma for 10 years, and suddenly wakes up, miraculously. Everyone freaked out. Yadayadayada. Never mind Bill. I wanted to talk about that newlyweds, where the bride had cancer and had operation to remove the ovarian cancer she had. She lived through it. I was like, yayy, this is so going in my blog. I'm so happy. But she does seem weak, pale. Her doctor told her she needs to go through chemo and sorts. The next day, her nurse were talking with her when she suddenly coughed out blood. They had to put her in coma. She made her nurse promised her to not let her husband see her with machines, and she went to coma. Her husband came in an hour later, but was not allowed to see her. Later, she was dying and her nurse called him. He sat there, held her hand in his, until the last moment of her life. He cried and cried to her lifeless body, made me cry too. :( Even her nurse cried, and trembled when she had to turn the machines off. :( Later, the nurse passed a letter to the husband, that sounded almost like this ;


My love,
Being married for you even for 3 days has been the highest point of my life. It is perfect because of you. Please get a dog now because I didn't let you before. And please be happy.


PS : Saaaad.

'So what? He thinks I'm no good, accused me on everything I never think of doing, and never ever ever never ever apologizes? So what? As long as I love him, I don't give a damn and nothing else matters. Who gives a fuck? Bring it on.'

badly needing .

I badly need a break, from everything.

I want to just rest, hibernate, sleep and not think about anything especially right now. Seriously. Probably like, a coma would help. I know, none of the problems will go away but at least, it would give me a peace of mind. Everything is so messed up. I can't tell anyone, I can't do anything about it. I just have to face it. Alone. Everything just keeps making things harder to me. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.


So, anyone wanna gimme a break? Rehab sounds good. Bye.


PS : Emotionally unavailable.

mercy .

I'm watching one episode from Mercy, and somehow this episode makes me really really sad. I'm sobbing to myself. :( There are three different stories, but only one touched the deepest of my heart. A couple was preparing to get married when the bride-to-be was hospitalized. She was so into the marriage that she still make arrangements for songs, wedding gown, suit for the wedding from her bed. It was sweet, showing how important the wedding is to her. Then, her doctor came for regular check-up and the groom-to-be said its time to get serious. She get back to bed, the doctor told them her conditions etc etc. Then, the doctor abruptly asked about her stomach. He checked on her, and pressed on the right side of her stomach. She made a ouch-that-hurts face and the doctor said they need to do some tests. So they did. And they found tumor in her ovary. Her nurse was really attached to her, she was with her all the time. She was her only patient. The lady lost hope. She didn't wanna get married. Everything was over. Her oxygen level was low, making it high risks for her operation. Her groom-to-be then just said 'Lets get married, right now.' So they did, in that very hospital. They had cakes, everything was perfect. The husband stayed up with her all night, during their first night of newlyweds, probably the last. The just hugged, and stayed until her nurse came and told them 'It is time.' She had to take off her ring, the husband had to watch the nurse prepare her. :( Its sooooo sad seeing them like that I cried. OHHH, boohoo.

And  I have no idea what happen next, cause the episode ended.

PS : Sensitive.

oh fuck. what else? :)

Fuck is perhaps one of the most interesting and exciting words in the English language. Fuck is the one magical word which just by its sound can describe pleasure, pain, hate, and love. Fuck comes from the German word, "frikon".

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

* A verb ; both transitive (he fucked her) and intransitive (she was fucked by him).

* An active verb (he really gives a fuck

* A passive verb (she really doesn't give a fuck)

* An adverb (she is fucking interested in him)

* A noun (she is a fine fuck)

* An adjective (she is fucking beautiful).

As you can see there is a whole lot of real versatility with "fuck". It pops up everywhere. Besides its sexual connotation, this lovely word can be used to describe many situations :

* Greetings - How the fuck are you?

* Fraud - I got fucked by that crook.

* Dismay - Oh, fuck it!

* Trouble - I'm fucked now!

* Confusion - What the fuck?!

* Aggression - Fuck you!

* Disgust - Fuck me.

* Despair - Fucked again!

* Philosophy - Who gives a fuck?

* Incompetence - He's a real fuck-off.

* Displeasure - What the fuck is going on here?

* Numerology - Sixty-fuckin'-nine.

* Lost - Where the fuck are we?

* Disbelief - Un-fuckin-believable.

* Retaliation - Up your fucking ass!

* Rebellion - Fuck it!

* Satisfaction - Fuck me again!

Also as :

* Descriptive anatomy - He's a fuckin' asshole!

* To tell time - It's six-fucking-thirty.

* Prediction - Well, I'll be fucked!

* A political statement - Fuck Washington.

* Incestuous  - Motherfucker.

* A put down - Fuck off, buster!

* All encompassing - Fuck 'em all!

* Governmental affair - Fuck the IRS.

* A poker hand - A royal fuck.

* To start a relationship - Let's fuck now!

* As an acceptance - Fuckin' eh!

* Enjoyment - Fuckin' wow!

* A closing - Fuckingly yours.

* Maternal - Motherfucker.

* Political - Fuck Clinton!

The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the many creative uses of the word. How can anyone be offended when you say "FUCK"? Use fuck in your daily speech proudly. Fuck adds prestige to any conversextion. Put this colorful four letter word to work for you. Today tell someone you know "fuck you" ... or "Let's fuck!"

This is a disclaimer. Please don't e-mail me and tell me that Fuck is not a German word. I fucking already know that. This is a joke, it is something to be laughed and enjoyed, I hope. By the way, I also know that the first part is not really correct either. If you want to bitch about this post, fuck you and go to alt.bitch.about.anything and complain.

HAHA. Very funny. :)

you corrupt me, and us. goodbye you.

So, they fought, again. I'm not sure how it resolved though. It lasted few days, made me and my siblings moaned of boredom. The same things, the same issues. We're not the savers type. We sat and listen and talk to each other. At least that's the best we could do. Stick with each other.

I can't story-tell everything to my boyfriend. I mean, he's so busy nowadays. He has got a lot on his mind. His studies, his super duper best-of-the-best number one BFF and so much more. I'm pretty sure I am the last one on his priority list but that's much better than to not be on the list at all, right? I mean, he is now taking a short semester course. Tough paper. Quiz on Monday. His BFF is gonna fly away soon. I think I probably should give them some quality time right? Berjejak kasih~ She's so important to him that he would do literally everything for her. So, who's the priority now? Me, or her? Yeah, I should stop, its his BFF for god sake. He could die without her, like I would without him.

I remembered my boyfriend told me that she would be flying away around my birthday. One thoughtful question though, who would he picked to be with that day? Mind you, my birthday would mark the eleventh month of our relationship. She's his super duper best-of-the-best number one BFF and I am his girlfriend. So, who would he pick? I'll get back to you when the time comes. Just hold on to your seat belts people!

Oh crap. What ever in the world am I rambling about? >.< I really wanna talk out loud with someone. Does anyone wants to fill in the application to be 'the faithful listener' to 'the good listener'? But then, who is a listener to talk? Listeners should listen, not ramble. Listeners should listen, nod or shake their head appropriately, give plentiful opinions. Listeners don't talk, they listen.

Its mind-boggling, thinking no one could ever be a better listener for the listener itself. (I know, it doesn't make sense that way. Who cares?)

Jeez. I better stop all these nonsense. Like really stop. Now.

Bye.

PS : Inside, I'm glad you won't be around soon. I'm starting to dislike how your presence is starting to corrupt my life, just like your little friends. Adios, chica.

you're gonna make it through this .

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Nope.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
I'm not sure. I'll get back when I actually ride one.

3. When’s the last time you’ve been sledding?
Never.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Well usually I’d prefer sleeping alone but sometimes I like sleeping with Syafique :).

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
I'm in between.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
I don’t think so.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Who knows? I don't even know about the case until I watched the Kardashians.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Definitely Angelina Jolie.

9. Do you stay friends with your ex’s?
No.

10. Do you know how to play poker?
No, I don't.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
No.

12. What’s your favorite commercial?
I can't quite think of one.

13. What are you allergic to?
Bitches. LOL.

14. If you’re driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?
I don’t drive but if I did then no.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
I believe everybody does.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
I don’t watch whatever sport that is. Heee.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Sadly, no.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Not too often unless it was really weird or unbelievable.

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
Uhm.

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
Errr.

21. What’s the one thing on your mind now?
Syafique. 'Nuff said.

22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is?
No.

23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Only with the proper adults. I don't usually do seat belt with Syafique, it would be hard to reach and hug him.

24. What cell service do you use?
Hotlink.

25. Do you like Sushi?
YES!

26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
Nope.

27. What do you wear to bed?
Pajamas. :) Sometimes shorts and singlets.

28. Been caught stealing?
I’ve stolen Syafique's heart. Guilty? Arrest me.

29. What shoe size do you have?
Seven.

30. Do you truly hate anyone?
I hate bitches. They give me rashes. :)

31. Classic Rock or Rap?
Neither.

32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Vanessa Hudgens! LOL.

33. Favorite Song?
I've been in love with That's When I Love You for 10 months now, since Syafique gave it to me. :)

34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
I have.

35. What food do you find disgusting?
I'm not sure.

36. Do you sing in the shower?
Sometimes.

37. Did you ever play, “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”?
Ha! *Wink wink.

38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
I believe so. Naaaaah.

39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
I don’t think so. I can barely stand up for myself. Blimey.

40. Have you ever been punched in the face?
No. 

of all those wishes , you are the most precious .

*Jump of joy! Yayy! He called. He called. Boyfriend called! :D (Yeah, I'm a fucking happy retard right now!)


Boyfriend called. I know, I've said that three times before, but he finally called. Gosh, I miss his voice. :( He's away, you see. AND I've been missing him all these days, because he's busy studying and we have little time to talk a lot like we use to. It is kind of weird that he's quite far, because I used to see him everyday, and I'm not seeing him everyday now. *Sigh. What am I rambling? >.<

"Awak tau tak saya rindu awak?"

That sort of put a grin on my face. Boyfriend, I miss you more! You're Heart Taker Story is complete. (Click the link to check out OK!)

Ok, Ok. Moving on. Since the Boyfriend is far, and I can't really talk, I've been talking to myself like a crazy brat. Yeahh, I have all the conversations up in my head. There are so many things that I wanna share, talk about. Some things I want people to take note of. Like my presence for instance. I went to the field at the corner of my house and screamed "I am HERE! I exist! Look at me, can't anyone see me? I am not invincible!" HAHA, ok, I made that up. >.< I imagined it in my head. LOL. Seriously, I think my head just have everything. I wish I can just live in it, it is so much fun. Everyone just listens to everyone, no one is left out, no one is hurt.

Hmmmm. Oh, and what's with the Bieber Fever? Yucks! :D

Love,

Lefty Baby.

Han says ; babe, aku suka kawan dgn kau sebab kau seorang pendengar yang baik!

Hish. Touching sorang-sorang kat rumah when she said that. Geeeez. :')

and i waited with hope that the phone will break the silence.

I just can't believe it. My boyfriend is already there.Oh, boohoo. He's in UiTM Melaka, for intersession course. One whole month, away from him. To make things worse, he recently lost his phone, so he's using a non-built-in camera phone. No everyday-i-miss-you-pictures updates from him too! Lets add more to the heart-breaking-bucket shall we? He did not even bring his BigBoy (broadband's nickname LOL) for some 'reasons' only I know, so no Skype sessions for us, the whole month. We used to Skype on weekend nights, and that's like when we can't see each other for two days tops. Geez. I hope he's alright. And studies really really really well. His classes starts tomorrow, 3 hours a day if I'm not mistaken. I miss him already. I'm just use to him being close, as close as Seri Kembangan could possibly offer but that's pretty close to me. Oh well. Even if I joined the short course semester, I won't be getting anywhere around him. Its opened only for upper semester kids. (Ha, did I just say kids??) Even so, I'm staying at home, right where he want me. He made Johnny look out for me, and I'm grateful I have Johnny for company. I'll be waiting for you. Its just a matter of time when you'll be home right darling? And and, we'll talk more then. I promise.

I'm building up Heart-Taker Story back because I deleted it few days ago. I'm building it back up 'coz my boyfriend loves it so much, he appreciates it. :) Your story darling, we'll come to life in a month. (More or less, since its gonna take me days finding back those pictures I stole online, hee hee.)

So, here I am, alone in my living room. *Sobs. I even cried to sleep when he called exactly at 1:30 am and said "Baby, they're here. We're leaving now. I'll update my whereabouts okay. I love you".

I miss you so much Boyfriend. We've never been this far more than two days, and you'll be there for at least one month. Gee, miss me too, will you? I love you.

Love,

Ell.

i love you ♥

Nine Months

I love you Syafique

all tags, wrapped into one.

TAG NUMBER ONE
(Can't remember who passed it to me...)

Where is your boyfriend?
In my heart~ Eceh.

Name something you did yesterday?
Spent whole day cleaning up. -.-'

Last person you text messaged?
Syafique.

What color is your hair?
Darkish brown.

What was the last thing you cried over?
Kena marah :'( *Sobs!

What is something you really want right now, be honest?
Mr. Comel! :D Geez, its been a while. Miss him.

Is there anyone on your mind that shouldn't be?
Only Syafique.

Do you have a little sister?
Two little sisters who are very annoying but I love them to pieces.

Do you like to listen to the radio when you are in the car?
I surely do.

What are you listening to?
More Than Life Itself & That's When I Love You. For both of us. :)

Do you sleep with a fan on?
Of course I do.

Do you get good morning texts from anyone?
Sygg says "Morning Baby.." sometimes.

Where is your cell phone?
On my lap.

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?
Sure (!)

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
With Sygg perhaps? :)

Did you speak to your dad today?
No, I did not.

Will tomorrow be better than today?
Sure. :) Tomorrows are always better days.

Do you want to see somebody right now?
Heart-taker.

Your current relationship status?
Happily taken.

Do you like it when you get kissed on the forehead?
Sweet :) I do, I do.

Are you waiting for something?
Waiting for his text. I'm nervous thinking about his final paper.

Do you think the last person you kissed cares for you?
Yes :) He loves me dearly.

Do you text message a lot?
Syafique as the texting partner.

When is the next time you'll kiss someone?
Tomorrow? LOL.

What was the last thing you drank?
Plain water.

What would your name be with the first three letters?
Eli.

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
I wanna get married when I reached 25, god willing, and have kids before 30 with SYAFIQUE!! :D

Did you have a good day?
A plain, empty, Syafique-less day.

If you could move right now would you?
No.

Are you happy with the way things are going right now?
Very happy.

Do you like being in pictures?
The more the better. :P

Where will you be in an hour?
Get the laundry.

Is your heart broken right now?
No, its flouring with loveeee. Geez. :P

Do you believe in love?
I do. Of course. Its the next best thing to friendship.

Do you think relationships are even worth it?
Depends. Some are worth it and some are worth all the regrets. But mine, oh geez. :)

Have you ever done anything outrageously dumb?
Ahah. I play dumb all the time.

Have you ever kissed anyone and never saw them again?
No.

Are you someone who worries too often?
Definitely too much.

Have you ever been back-stabbed by a friend?
Who haven't?

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Sygg la,who else?

Spring or summer?
Summer. :))

Are you wearing make-up right now?
No.

Confused about anything?
No. :D

Do you prefer to call or text someone?
Calling, so that I can hear his super duper voice.

Do you have a secret that you aren't telling anyone?
Everyone has a secret.

TAG NUMBER TWO
(Beloved Nina ♥)

Baju warna apa yang sedang anda pakai?
Hitam. LBD.

Last text message? With whom?
With Sayangg :) Good luck!

Last phone call? With whom?
Sayangg. Last night.

Last website?
Heart-taker Story. (Anak kesayangan. Kilk untuk lihat OK.)

10 orang sahabat terbaik anda :

1. Syafique Sygg
2. Azza
3. Nina Chan
4. Idora Mora
5. Eriene
6. Dfan Heartcore (Eh? :P)
7. Zack (as in Zaharahh)
8. Yayaw.
9. Elisa Aiza
10. Johnny

Pilih seorang dari sepuluh yang di atas. Siapakah orangnye?
Aza.

Kenangan pahit yang pernah anda alami bersama rakan anda.
Takde kott.

Rakan karib anda bermula dari huruf ape?
N, as in Nur Azalina Suzianti.

5 perkara yang anda suke tentang rakan karib anda :

1. Kidal macam sayaa.
2. CheChe saya lebih kurang 8 haghi.
3. Suara on-the-phone dia macam saya juga.
4. Otak gila-gila.
5. Aaaah, eveghiting.

5 perkara yang anda tak boleh lupa tentang kawan karib anda?

1. Kepelatan 'R'. :P
2. Dia tinggi, tinggi bangat dari sayaa.
3. Oh, oh, semua benda best kitonghang buat sama-sama.
4. Ngindu masa dalam kelas dulu.
5. Eveghiting.

5 Perkara yang anda menyampah dengan rakan karib anda?

1. Exes dia yang tak menghargai diaa. Pfft.
2. Huh?
3. Huh?
4. Huh?
5. Takde nyampah pun.

Bila kali pertama jumpa rakan karib anda?
Form 4. 'Hi, me Aza.' :D

Adakah anda sayang rakan karib anda?
Sangat.

Pernah hug and kiss kawan karib anda?
Kalau ajak jadi lesbo pun takpe. HAHA.

Pernah tersepak kawan karib anda?
Hish, tak ingatt.

Pernah mengumpat kawan karib anda?
Mengumpat depan mata?

Kali terakhir anda ketawa dengan kawan karib anda?
Pukul 2 pagi.

Kali terakhir anda marah dengan rakan karib anda?
Hish, tak ingatt.

Anda mahu rakan karib anda jadi apa untuk anda?
My best friend. :)

Pesanan anda untuk rakan karib anda:
Good luck in your life Bebeh. I lebiu. :)

TAG NUMBER THREE
(Nina too!)

5 orang yang masih hidup yang korang tak boleh lupa.

1. Syafiq ; the forever boyfriend-soon-to-be-married-husband :D
2. Azza ; the best-friend-forever-slash-twin-sister-with-totally different-dna's-and-genes :P
3. Nina ; (the tagger) petsis, yang dah lama tak jumpa. Geez.
4. Zack ; the gossiper partner, back in Form 3? :) Nginduu.
5. Johnny ; not really alive, but my night companion.

5 barang yang korang sayang nk buang.

1. Johnny (!)
2. My handphone yang cikaiii ; got lots and lots of pictures with him.
3. My lappy yang lapukk ; got lots and lots of memories with Sygg.
4. My dresses. Heeee.
5. My hair.

3 benda yang diimpikan dan harap akan menjadi kenyataan satu hari nanti.

1. Be married and live a fantasy-slash-reality life with Sygg.
2. Aaah, an accountant. God-willing.
3. A successful, beautiful life.

Based on those questions.. Why??

'Cause, they are my life. :)

TAG NUMBER FOUR
(Safinaaaaah.)

1. Besides your lips , where is the favorite spot to get KISSED?
My cheeks, my nose, my lips. ;D

2. How did you feel when you woke up this MORNING?
Bummed. ;(

3. Who was the last person you took a photo WITH?
Sayang. ;)

4. Would you consider yourself SPOILED?
Yes. Kinda. *BIG grin.

5. Will you ever donate BLOOD?
I'm little miss scaredy cat.

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite SEX?
I did!

7. Do you want someone to be DEAD?
Those beyotchs..

8. What does your last text message SAY?
Its a secret. ;D

9. What are you thinking about right NOW?
a) Syafique.
b) Syafique.
c) Syafique.

10. Do you want someone to be with you right NOW?
Syafique please? Please.

11. What was the time you went to bed last NIGHT?
I have no idea.

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing NOW?
Momma bought this.

13. Is someone on your mind right NOW?
Syafique always. ;))

14. Who was the last person who text YOU?
Syafique.

TAG NUMBER FIVE.
(Dfan Heartcore.)

Upload a picture of you in a position that you hated the most.
Takmo.

Four names that friends call you.
a) Lisa.
b) Chacha.
c) Ell.
d) Elisa.

Four most important dates in your life.
a) 9th July ; mine.
b) 9th August ; our .
c) 2nd May ; his.
d) 14th July ; our unofficial date.

Four things you have done in the last thirty minutes.
a) Log in Blogger-in-Draft.
b) Missing him.
c) Yawn.
d) Typed.

Four ways to be happy.
a) Spend time with Syafique.
b) Sleep.
c) Eat.
d) Spend time with Syafique.

Four people you miss from your past.
a) Me.
b) Me.
c) Me.
d) Me.

Four gifts you would like to receive.
a) A good book.
b) A warm smile.
c) A sweet gesture.
d) An appreciation.

Four of your favorite hobbies.
a)Missing Syafique.
b) Texting Syafique.
c) Calling Syafique.
d) Dreaming of Syafique.

Four places or country you want to visit.
a) Hawaii.
b) Bali, once moree.
c) Paris.
d) Egypt.

Four favorite drinks.
a) Sprite.
b) Nescafe.
c) Orange juice.
d) Hot choco.

Four things always found in your bag.
a) Handphone.
b) Money.
c) Make-up pouch.
d) Kunci rumah.

Four favorite colors.
a) Pink.
b) White.
c) Black.
d) Red.

Top four hangouts.
a) At home.
b) At home.
c) At home.
d) At home.
(Yeah, don't go out much -.-')

Top four you love so much.
a) Family.
b) Syafique Sygg.
c) Aza.
d) Johnny.

Top four 'things' that are special to you.
a) Johnny.
b) Memory card handphone.
c) Him.
d) My love for him. Eceh.

TAG :
ANYONE!!!

When you were looking through the windows of the soul , I was waiting to see the truth as it unfolds .

Appreciate.

Hmmm. That's just one of the million things lacking from my life. Appreciation. Like, seriously. I am not asking for a big show or a bouquet of flowers to show your appreciation for what I have done. Like, really, none of that. I am not that materialistic. A simple 'Thank you' is more than enough, and I am not making this up. A sincere, honest, straight-from-the-heart 'Thanks' really would made my day much much brighter.

Damn.

However, I don't get that much. People would see through and comment on what I lack of. I am fat, I am short, I am dark-skin, I don't have the perfect body, I am awkward, my hair is not in place and ooooh, the list just goes on and on and on. What about what I already have? What I already am? Can no one see that? Hmmmm. Guess not It is so darn easy for anyone to spot my mistakes, my lacks. Sometimes, its just too much to handle. So, I'd try to achieve and meet up with everyone's expectations. The problem is,  their expectations never seem to stop, at all. Then what? What if I spend all my life trying to please everyone so that they will finally accept me and not comment what I do not have? Even so, not everyone would be pleased.

*LONG sigh.

PS : Speaking from the heart.

PSS : Appreciate people, while you still have the chance.

Love,

Ell.

You are it , my first love , I think the closest I’ve ever come . We aren’t perfect for each other , we are exact opposites , and we fought constantly . But you made me so insanely happy , and vice versa . I know I did , from your smile down to your demands for hugs every single day . Falling in love with you , it feels like I am drowning deep , but the water is warm so it almost feel luxurious , enjoyable , like moving through warm honey .

walk-in closet.

Dearest, heart-throb.

Funny. I dreamed of another touch to create perfection to our future home together, god-willing. A walk-in closet, for you beloved princess here would be enormously perfect. :) Well, besides having a personal private library, of course. Tehee. Here's why. Your little princess, yours truly loves to dress-up, as you know very much Darling. I love dresses and more dresses and would not want my precious dresses to get wrinkled or ruined. I would not want my wedding gown to be ruined too! :P Tehee. Here's an idea. We could totally hide the walk-in closet behind a mirror (Woahh, imagination..) in our bedroom so no one would know our secret. :)

Please, please? Especially, since you agreed on reserving on room for our own private library. :) I love you.

Yours truly,

Ell.

dresses to die for :D

naturally.

Naturally"

How you choose to express yourself
It's all your own and I can tell
It comes naturally, it comes naturally

You follow what you feel inside
It's intuitive, you don't have to try
It comes naturally, mmmm it comes naturally

And it takes my breath away
What you do, so naturally

You are the thunder and I am the lightening
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it's exciting
When you know its meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby

Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby

You have a way of moving me
A force of nature, your energy
It comes naturally (You know it does)
It comes naturally
Mmmm yeah

And it takes my breath away (Everytime)
What you do, so naturally

You are the thunder and I am the lightening
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it's exciting
When you know its meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby

Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby

When we collide, sparks fly
When you look in my eyes, it takes my breath away

You are the thunder and I am the lightening
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it's exciting
When you know its meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby

Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby

Naturally [x5]
Bay bay baby

Naturally [x5]
Everything baby comes naturally

Singer : Selena Gomez & The Scene
Title : Naturally
Album : Kiss & Tell

random ramble from the heart.

That song just touched the bottom of my heart. Tears drool all over. I'm not sure why. The song, is just, miraculous? Hmmm. :') Just Stand Up. It dated around 2 years ago, I think, but really. I just can't stop replaying the song. Let's fight.

just stand up.

All :
Everything will be alright, yeah

Beyoncé :
The heart is stronger
Than you think
It's like it can go
Through anything
And even when you think
It can't it finds a way
To still push on
Though

Carrie Underwood :
Sometimes
You want to run away
Ain't got the patience
For the pain
And if you
Don't believe it
Look into
Your heart
The beat goes on

Rihanna :
I'm tellin' you

Rihanna & Miley Cyrus :
Things get better
Through
Whatever
If you fall
Dust it off
Don't let up

Nicole Scherzinger :
Don't you know
You can go
Be your own miracle

Beyoncé :
You need to know

Chorus
All :
If the mind
Keeps thinking
You've had enough
But the heart
Keeps telling you
Don't give up
Who are we to be
Questioning
Wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all
Just stand up

Fergie :
It's like
We all have better days
Problems getting all up
In your face

Leona Lewis :
Just because
You go through it

Fergie :
Don't mean it got
To take control, no

Leona Lewis :
You ain't gotta find
No hiding place

Keyshia Cole :
Because the heart
Can beat the hate

Leona Lewis :
Don't wanna
Let your mind
Keep playin' you

Keyshia Cole :
And sayin' you
Can't go on

Rihanna :
I'm tellin' you

Rihanna & Miley Cyrus :
Things get better
Through whatever
If you fall
Dust if off
Don't let up

Natasha Bedingfield :
Don't you know you
Can go
Be your own
Miracle

Carrie Underwood :
You need to know

(Chorus)

Mary J. Blige :
You don't gotta be
A prisoner
In your mind

Ciara :
If you fall
Dust it off

Mary J. Blige :
You can live your life

Rihanna & Carrie Underwood :
Yeah

Mary J. Blige :
Let your heart
Be your guide

Rihanna & Carrie Underwood :
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Mariah Carey :
And you will know
That you're good
If you trust in the good

Ashanti :
Everything
Will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark
If you follow your heart

Mary J. Blige :
And it will get better

Mariah Carey :
Through whatever

(Chorus) X2

Fergie :
You got it in you
Find it within
You got in now
Find it within now
You got in you
Find it within
You got in now
Find it within now
You got in you
Find it within
Find it within you
Find it within

All :
Through it all
Just stand up

Singer : Various Female Artists
Title : Just Stand Up

please, take a step back and breathe. (auto-publish)

"Ever since you've had your boyfriend, you forget you friends."

"What happened? We use to talk a lot."

"Cenggini la kau. Lepas ada balak kau, kau lupa aku."

"Sikit-sikit Syafiq, takyah peduli dia."

"Kenapa susah ha nak cakap dengan kau sekarang? Kau pergi mana?"

I've been thinking about this for quite a while and I think it is about time I'll say it out loud, especially when we're reaching up to 9 months of never-ending happiness. As you know, if you know me well, number 9 really is special so I rather not have any problems there and then.

Alright then, first and foremost, my boyfriend has nothing to do with this.

Syafiq never, I repeat never force me to stop having friends and focus on him. Never. Its just me. Yes, I was not in any relationships before and thus have plenty of time to be there for everyone that means the world to me. However, I am in a serious one here. Very serious. I am making him my first priority, because I feel that he deserves that for making me extremely happy with the way things are.

Mind you, I am not ditching my friends. Nope. I just give less attention to everything else, because I have a boyfriend now. Its okay to call me up sometimes, or send me sms but please respect my relationship and my decisions. I mean, don't say things that might 'corrupt' my relationship. This means a lot to me. REALLY.

Just cause things change, doesn't mean you are allowed to blame him for that. Seriously. He never makes me forget anyone. He encourages me to stand on my own and be with friends. Its just my choice to not do so. As I said before, things change, and I expect people would understand this transition. I need the support, like the support I would give to my friends when they change. It would mean everything to me

Please do. I am not pin-pointing anyone, not at all. This is just generally, regardless of friends near and far. I swear. So please, ease my mind, respect my relationship and respect my boyfriend. He means so much and it hurts me if anyone do anything that could make him sad.

I am begging, please take a step back and breathe.

Hugs,
Syafique's Ell.

and handsome is now 21 years old.

There are things I’d like to say
to you my love on your special day.
­­­Syafique, you’re like a gift from up above,
you showed me how it is to feel real love.
I know many mountains we’ve had to climb
and sometimes forever has seemed like a very long time.
Yes, we’ve endured our share of pain,
but together we have so much to gain.
Bigger mountains may lie ahead,
but together there is no hill we cannot tread.
So Syafique, always remember my love for you,
and there is nothing together we cannot do.
Have a happy birthday you deserve the best
And I’ll take care of all the rest.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAYAAAAANG.
I LOVE YOU LIKE THE STARS IN THE SKIES AND SAND ON THE BEACHES.

my heart craves ;

Muhammad Norsyafiq ;
Everyone says my name the same, but the way you say it forces my cheeks to turn to pink. And to be honest, you sort of - kind of stole my heart.
Yes, yes. I crave to be with you, all day long, all night long and all my life. I miss your shining eyes, your beaming smile, your hearty laugh, oh gosh, I miss everything about you. Even when we went apart for a few hours, my heart cringe with you out of my sight. Geez. I'm just so crazily fond of you, only God knows how much. AND yes, I wanna be with you forever, straight from my heart. :) I love you.

Nur Azalina Suzianti ;
We’re the type of best friends who burst out laughing from last year’s inside jokes.
Gosh. I miss you so darn much. I mean, a lot. I haven't see you in months. The last time we met, my condition was oh-so-vulnerable and I barely gave my attention to anyone. Even you. *Groans. I miss you bff. I really do. I miss the times we used to have sleepovers at your place, prank-called people and gossip all night long. I can never keep a secret from you. :) I love you.

Nur Ammar Nina ;
Finding a relationship like ours is like nailing jello to a tree : impossible.
Geeez. You. My lucky star. I haven't seen your face for yeaaaars. When was the last time eh? It was back in 2005. My goodness. That's 4 almost 5 years away. I'm glad we kept our relationship strong, even with the distance. I miss you, little sister. I miss 'stealing' away your teddy bear and slept with it at night so it would remind me of you. I miss writing letters, talking heart-t0-heart with you. AND I miss your drawings. You used to make a lot of little cards for me and I believe there are still some in my possession. :) I love you.

Safinah ;
Even if we grow apart, and even if we don’t talk as much as we used to, just remember I’ll always be here for you.
Gorgeous. Gosh. We haven't meet yet. Sooner or later, we will. I'm sure. Though we haven' connect physically, we connect mutually just fine. I miss chatting with you, exchanging songs, sharing secrets, basically everything. I might seem like I disappeared, the truth is I'm not. I am always here, if you need to talk. Precious, you're always on my mind. :) I love you.

My heart craves ; THEM right now. :(

angry post.

Grrrr. Stupid phone-stealer. Pfft. Why are you so stupid? Got no phone on your own that make you took MY BOYFRIEND'S phone? Sheeesh. He promised he'd pay the price of the phone if you give it back. Around RM 300, I think. Kitorang SMS bebaik, kau buat cikai kan? TAK NAK DUIT KE BODO? Kesian boyfriend aku tau! Even if you sell that phone, it won't cost as much as he would give you dummy!! Don't you know how much that phone holds our precious memories?! We text-ed you nicely, instead, you keep using the phone for god-knows-what. We just want that phone memory! OK, him. But I want it too.

All the memories and pictures and videos and recordings and notes :(
Also, the camera makes me look like I'm in heaven and oh-so-pretty. *Sobs. Ratus-ratus gambar dalam phone diaaaa.

Stupid. Arsehole. Jerk.

Right now, my boyfriend is using Natt's number. Thanks for you concern Natt. :)

a wish to be granted .

private getaway :)

Syafique dearest,
Frankly speaking, is it possible if I ask you to reserve a room in our future home together (god willing) for a bulit-in library? It need not be spacious or large, just filled with white shelves around the room, the sliding stairs for me to reach up the books on top, a window large enough for the windy blowing evenings, and two cozy couches with leg rest just for you and me. :)

As you may already know, I am a book addict. I enjoy reading, not that you are not aware of that. Having a built-in library will be the ultimate dream come true (apart from you). Can you imagine, a library only for us, filled with books you and me both love. We would collect and buy books and fill the shelves with them. We would read books together, and I would make you tea with biscuits so you won't get bored. Not only that, it will also be our on private getaway from others. Books, as you may know, releases stress and help ease our mind. Surely we would get tired from work, and a good book will definitely lift up our spirit. :)

Not only that, I will promise (with all my loving heart) that I will keep it tidy and clean at all times. We would share our heaven with guests attending our cozy home. We would teach our own juniors, god willing, to enjoy a good book. :)

So, will you, will you, will you? Will you please grant my oh-so-desperate wish?

PS : Seems crazy, eh? Yes, yes, Imma book crazer.

Love,
Bbygirl.

i have nothing else to say . . . not !

A story, or two.

Last night went smoothly, after that massive row we had. Not quite as massive as we've had before, but yesterday's fight had really broken my heart. I was in agony, thinking of him. He called last night. I can't believe he did, after being so pissed at me. He was being really nice, and it touched the strings of my fragile little heart. How can he be so calm and called me with pampering names after getting pissed by myself? That, is still a puzzle. So, it went well. He promised he would call back at midnight. I waited, can't really imagine what we would talk about. I scarcely believed that he was gonna bring up the whole noon secret-breaking situation and got really mad at me.

He called again. He was still being nice and made me really nervous. Kept making me think, when is this guy gonna break it down and get really mad. To my own surprise, he just advised me. Not to do that again. "We'll just share everything with each other and not with others." Gosh. You're such an angel Love. We ended up talking on the phone for two straight hours, with me blushing all the way. *Giggles. Mind you, we really went "Eeww" for those so-called-romantic couples, but actually, we're just the same in our own 'romantic' way. LOL. He wished me good luck for my paper and wished me good night. :')

(Terharu dimanjakan sampai begitu sekali oleh boyfriend. :P )

Aza called too. :) Miss you damn much dearest. Thanks for caring and wishing me good luck for my papers. I love you very much.

AIS 280.

I woke up at 5:55 am after battling with my alarm for an hour. The song Fuck You by Lily Allen screamed to my ears and made me screamed "Fak Yu, lemme sleep" back at the singing vibrating phone. Who is to blame? It was only doing its duty to wake me up on time. I got ready and became really anxious. Will I make it? Sayang had asked me to be early because I am prone to be late to exams, every single time! :P Luckily, I was early, by an hour. Geez. Talk about being early. I sat there, all alone while others came in groups of twos or threes. Never mind, I am used to sitting alone. Then, this group who I thought of pretending I don't recognized came screaming my name in front of me, at me. :D

(Walaah. Tak ke terkejut kaw-kaw semua orang? Eheh. Takdela, kan tempat tu bising macam pasar malam.)

Who else than the rather dashing group ; Lynn, Chubee, Dfan, Yana, Syue and not in view, Syaz..

(Weyh korang, ni nama masuk blog lagi :P )

Inside the freakishly huge hall, I felt sick. I felt dizzy. I managed answering all questions before deciding to leave at 10:50 am. Sheeeesh. As I step towards my bag, I spotted Dfan, who apparently, just left the hall two.

Eh, eh, bila kau keluar? Tak nampak pun. HAHA.

My sunshine picked me up and we went for brunch. Ate Nasi Ayam at Ampang. Yum yum. It was nice. Then, we strolled around Pavilion, with me as the innocent Baju Kurung-ed girl. I was asked to behave, since I was wearing Baju Kurung. OK, OK. Behave, I did. We stopped by at Times, the bookstore. As I self-ly claimed, bookstores are my heaven on Earth. Sunshine brought me there, because he knows my passion for books and words. We end up at Relationship Section. I flipped through one book with a poem "Baby, you are. . ." Sunshine recited the oh-so-sweet poem for me, making me all flattery and giddy, there and then. LOL.

Then, he sent me home. :)

Jeez, I love you lah. Only you. I can't imagine myself loving anyone else but you. *Wink.

PS : Yes sweetheart, 9th September would be the ideal date for it.
PSS : Nina's birthday in on 9th November. See? The number 9 seems to revolve around my life, perfectly.

on the 'pagar' .

The thing is my darling Nina,

they're the only ones I have around here that I can be myself with,

of course, apart from my Sunshine. (and y-o-u !)

*BIG grin*

so-called girls talk .

I'm in need of help. -___-

Do you have any idea how I feel right now? Have you ever feel like you've trusted someone so hard but she ended up bragging your details to everyone with the sense of humor, every single time. Yes, it must have looked so stupid to trust her again, but what if she's the only person you'd meet occasionally and could be yourself with? I need someone to talk to, apart from my own spouse of course. It does seems irrational, trusting her over and over again. As I said, it happened every time. I mean, yes, you brag with humor, but would you think of the consequences? You just made two loving people quarrel because of that minor detail you blurted out laughing. Sheesh.

So, who is to blame?
Myself? Yes, maybe.
That secret-breaker? Perhaps.
My other half? No. I don't think so.

But seriously, I never would expect her to blabber every single thing and take them like jokes. I had never tell out her secrets to her spouse, thinking of her relationship. I'm just asking for the same thing. :( It was suppose to be 'girls talk' and be forgotten after that. But noooo, that frankly never happen. *Sighs. I'm just torn in halves. Because of her, my own other half is so furious at me he's starting to get pissed with me.

I said 'Thanks' sarcastically.
I received 'Who's this?' in return.

WTF? Well, thanks a lot.

PS : I can't concentrate on my studies. I have AIS 280 tomorrow. :( HELP ME. *Sobs.

it was easy, but it was bad.

MGT 215.

I woke up at 7 am, got ready like a bee and rushed to college. Actually, Momma was rushing and I wore crumpled KPTM shirt with ruined black pants. Huff puff. I called Sayang when I reached Titiwangsa.

E : Hello.
S : Emm, hello.
E : Sayang kat mana?
S : Kat rumah. Baby pergi college tak?
E : Baby kat Titiwangsa. Sayang kat rumah mana?
S : Kat SK. Kenapa tak call tadi?
E : Baby rushing. Sayang dah mandi?
S : Erm, dah? Sayang kejap je.
E : Nanti bawak Baby pergi rumah Lynn boleh?
S : Kenapa?
E : Baby nak gosok baju. :P
S : Ok.

Hee, unbelievable. That's ok. Lynn stays near where Syafique stay in Pandan. To be frank, just one floor away. :)

Met Sayang, and rode away to Pandan Heights. I ironed my crumpled shirt and then his. Tehee. We're a pair. We both wore that orange KPTM uniform. :P Then, I ironed my hair and let the wind blew through them.

S : Dah perasan la tu, rambut kena tiup dengan angin. Tah pape la Baby ni. Heehhh.

BUT you love it right Sayang? Heeeeeeeeee. Then, we started getting serious and studied like two soldiers going to battle.

S : Baby, Decision Making steps.
E : Recognition, diagnosis, selecting, implementing, feedback. (Erk, tak cukup satu.)
S : Centralization is ..........
E : Equity theory tu macam ni .......

Then, he lied down on my lap (manja) and we continued.

E : Ok, ni Expectancy Theory. E to P. P to O. Valence.
S : Oooooh. Hey, kita faham definition je. Japgi nak goreng macam mana?
E : Alaaah, tulis je la apa kita cerita ni.
S : Baby ye la, caiya English.
E : Tah pape la kan Sayang ni. Cepat-cepat. Ulang balik Two Factor Theory.
S : Hygiene factors dengan motivators ............
E : Sayang, power is ........... influence ...............
S : Yang ni mesti masuk ni .....

Finally, we finished our last minute revision at Lynn's house. *Phew. It was already reaching to 1 pm.

L : Darling, taknak makan ke?
E : Nak, nak, jom la, gerak terus.
L : Lisa nak naik dengan Lynn ke, dengan Syafiq?
E : Syafiq. Hehe.

So, we wore our uniforms back and got ready. Suddenly ...

E : Huh. Apesal kipas tiba-tiba berenti Sayang?
S : Black out laaaa.

Lynn went out to check on the fuse box thingy, she went in with a funny worried face.

L : Lisaaaaa. Bukan rumah Lynn je blackout, lif pun blackout.
S : Tunggu kejap. Lif kan ada energy dia sendiri, 5 minit nanti dia on balik.

Ok. So we waited and joked outside the elevator. Few minutes later, we decided to take the stairs. (Lynn is staying at level 15 yawwww) Finally, we reached the ground dengan bontot tonggek. :P Lynn decided to eat Santai, Tesco Ampang. Pfft, I ain't got no helmet with me. AND I had my hair blown by the wind. :D

Nevermind then. We skipped eating together and had our own 'romantic' lunch. Maggi Goreng 2, tapi letak satu pinggan. Heeee, 'romantic'? I know. :P After we ate, we rushed. Huff puff. I couldn't get a seat near him. He sat quite far but we're the only ones with the same outfit. *Wink. So, with all I had, I am confident to take my first paper. I believed that we both had worked our asses off to pass this paper, even if not with flying colors. So, where's my questions? Hit me!

(Sneak peek of the oh-so-scary paper!)

4) Explain what is grapevine? Is grapevine a good thing, or can it cause difficulties in business organizations? How _____________________. (10 marks)

OK peeps. What is grapevine? Gosh. Part A. Oh come on. Critical thinking? I've memorized too much for this. -___- Mind you, there is not even one 'grapevine' word in the case study. I flipped to Part B. OH maaaaaaaaan. Where are all the tough questions? Where are the steps, types, theories I've memorized? All they ask is critical thinking questions about definitions. Yes, of course definition is easy, but I'm a little bit disappointed. :( I've read a lot and NONE came out. OK, one did. 'Span of control' for 5 marks. Whoopee. I left 40 minutes early (I think) and sighed. At least I take the paper. Few minutes later, few girls came out. They laughed at each other nervously and I heard their conversation from a far.

A : Weeeehhh. -__-
B : Aduh. Tah pape laa.
A : Question 4 (refer to the above question) kau jawab?
B : Tak doh. Kau?
A : Tak jugak doh. Heh.

Later after that, Syafique came out. He smiled at me. Without further due, I asked while he is still walking towards me.

E : Sayang, grapevine ape grapevine?
S : Taktau. Yang tu Sayang tak jawab.
E : Baby jawab ______________. (Malu nak cerita.)
S : Sayang takut nak goreng, takut pemeriksa bengang ke tension ke.
E : -___-

Grapevine.
grape·vine /ˈgreɪpˌvaɪn/ greyp-vahyn
–noun
1. a vine that bears grapes.
2. Also called grapevine telegraph. a person-to-person method of spreading rumors, gossip, information, etc., by informal or unofficial conversation, letter writing, or the like.
3. a private or secret source of information.

After all hustles, Syafique send me home. :) Thanks Sayang. I love you very much. Muah.

on HIATUS for the upcoming finals.

Woot woot. Finals are rolling down baby. OMG. I so can't believe its happening so soon. I know I should not be writing this now, but I have to write it down to get it off my chest. I am so scared. *Gawk. Here's my schedule. :)

Wednesday, 21st April 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
MGT 215

Sunday, 25th April 2010
9.00 am - 12.00 pm
AIS 280

Monday, 3rd May 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
MAF 220

Sunday, 9th May 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
FAR 200

AND this is the boyfriend’s schedule date with the papers. :)

Wednesday, 21st April 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
MGT 215

Monday, 3rd May 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
MAF 220

Thursday, 6th May 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
LAW 240

Saturday, 8th May 2010
2.15 pm - 5.15 pm
FAR 250

Eh? Not bad eyh? Got plenty of times in between to do last minutes pickups! Wish us luck geeks.

she was impressed but i broke his heart .

Hi bloggie. Do you miss your mommy? I'm so sorry because I've been unfair to you, my dear bloggie and practice favoritism in choosing Heart Taker Story and neglect you for some time.

Woot woot.

I won't be talking much here. I just wanna share a bit experience I had gathered today, during MGT215 class. Yes, I repeat that fucked up reading-supposedly-EASY-paper, dumbly. >.< successfully :)

The gal pals which I had been randomly put in by none other the lecturer herself had gave me the last, not-so-important slide to present about. Equity Theory. It was mind-bugling that I had prepared nothing to face this presentation. I stood up, empty-handed, shivering all over and creaky voice. Yes, it is that bad when I get all nervous.

- Okay, I knew I said it was going to be short and sweet -

While my fellow group mates are presenting their part to the community of Section 2 MGT215, I was rambling and sending text messages to my boyfriend who is sitting at the back of the class. I made him print out a little note I had in my thumb-drive so I would not look like an idiot standing up front not knowing what to explain. He was late :( He missed my part, and I was devastated. I had been very nervous because he was suppose to be there, and support me from behind.

My turn came, and he hadn't showed up yet. Okay, here goes err... Equity Theory. I remembered I heard myself said something about the relationship between input and outcomes, motivation, yadayadayada. My cheeks were burning, good thing it was dark upfront. I look over my boyfriend's empty seat and sighed. My lecturer, who was sitting next to our desk (mine and his - we intend to keep a low profile in class but will always fail..) was smiling. Geez. I must be embarrassing myself to make her smile like that. As I said "When all else fails . . ." she was grinning towards me and made me think 'Did I had my grammar wrong because she is strictly sensitive in grammar and pronunciation...' Then, I had to say "That's all, thank you." And she said "Good job, thank you."

So, I went back to my seat, next to my boyfriend who came back at the eleventh hour of my part. I sighed deeply and he looked hurt. He missed my part. :(

However, the woman in control of the class turned towards us and congratulated me.

Good job Elisa. I understand perfectly. Very clear and straight forward.
I grinned sheepishly (with a little bit of blush) and thanked her.
Thank you.
Do you speak English when you were small?
Yes. :)

"Until now. . ." added the boyfriend.

Geez. I'm just glad I impressed her, but I am fucked up I made my boyfriend miss my part. :( So I made a promise. I would speak English with my boyfriend starting today. :)